The Day I Bumped Into My Kryptonite

It was just one of those days when you just feel like some weird shit was going to happen. Today felt and was like any other day – I got up, brushed my teeth, dressed and went to work. Work was uneventful: send some emails, have some water cooler talk and jump on the first bus home. The bus ride is when everything started: I asked my intern what she was up to after work. She said that she wanted to buy a book; and we got into a conversation about classical books. I got so caught up talking about books that I pretty much invited myself to join her in going to the book store. I didn’t even want to buy a book – in fact; I had planned to get a haircut right after work but for some reason, I just felt like I needed to go to the bookstore. 

So when we got off the bus, we headed to the bookstore. My intern and I were browsing around, making stupid comments about books when I noticed a girl to my right, browsing by a shelf. She held a guy’s hand and led him down the aisle of books. I turned my head and saw her back turned against me. I knew right away who it was. She noticed me looking at her and she turned and looked right at me: it was my kryptonite.

In 2007, there was a basketball team called “The Golden State Warriors”. They weren’t a special team – they were just an average team. In fact, the year before that, they had finished last in their division. However, near the end of the 2007 season, the Warriors were able to take a winning streak and found themselves as the lowest ranked seed in the playoffs. Since they were the worst team in the playoffs, they were matched up with the best team in the playoffs; the Dallas Mavericks. Nobody gave the Warriors a chance – to believe in them was crazy. Guess what: the Warriors won the series against Dallas. Everyone was shocked except the Warriors team. When asked how they were able to pull off one of the greatest upsets in NBA history, one player said “some people just have your number. We had theirs”

Some people just have an unexplained hold on other people. Nick Tortelli had it on Carla in “Cheers” and Bobby Brown had it on Whitney Houston. You look at it rationally and you can’t figure it out: on paper, they’re uglier, dumber, have nothing in common with each other but somehow, they’ve got this Rasputin hold on some people.

I’ve spoken to a few people about this, both guys and girls, and there’s one thing we all had in common: we all felt that we got prematurely kicked off our ride. Our relationship never really took off before we and our kryptonites were no longer together. Something happened that was out of our control – someone moved to a different country, parents got involved, someone got shipped off to the army – whatever it was, there was a perceived injustice involved which is why we cling onto our belief that one day, justice will be done. We don’t want the relationship to be successful, we just want to finish the ride to see where it takes us. This is why we continue to obsess over some people: we never got to finish the ride.

Most of the time, the reason why some people are our kryptonite is because they’re bad for us. They bring out the bad side and have us acting irrationally and uncharacteristic of who we normally are. The reason is complicated and probably lies in our subconscious. These people treat us like shit but we’re obsessed with them because they seem to press some unrecognized need inside us. They throw us off our normal course which is why we act irrationally around them. When they throw us off our normal course, we start having feelings we don’t usually feel and this makes us feel different. We suddenly equate having these feelings as “being alive” but I think we’re just not yet used to the novelty of these feelings. If you hang around them long enough, you don’t know whether to love them or kill them.

How do these people push our buttons? What makes someone your kryptonite? How the fuck should I know? Some people just have your number.

It usually turns out bad – there’s a reason why I’m referring to these people as “kryptonite” and not “the love of your life.” The whole situation was created and exacerbated all in your head with your imagination just making things worst. Every small trickle of news you happen to find out about him/her, you over think for the worst. He’s spotted with a girl at a department store? OMG they’re picking out bridal registry. You find out that was his cousin? OMG he’s marrying his cousin. Even though he’s partaking in the act of incest, I still love him and will forgive him. Just be mine again.

Most of the songs you hear about this type of shit is usually negative. Cee Lo’s song “Fuck you” is a good example. The lyrics easily show that he’s not over the girl, which is why he cares so much and has such a strong feeling of anger. Perhaps, a more poetic and sophisticated song drawing on this topic is the song “Don’t look back in anger” by Oasis. It’s talking about moving on and letting go – which is what people need to know. To be hung up on someone that you think belongs to you is selfish and immature. Unless you’re a King from the Medieval Ages, you don’t own anyone and everyone has the right to do whatever they want – including moving on. If he/she’s moved on, why can’t you?

I think when people understand human nature and how wonky this world works, they’d be easier in moving on:  some people just have your number, that’s just a fact. While this person, who has your number has moved on; has it ever occurred to you that maybe you have someone’s number, and you’ve moved on from them? Is it fair to just keep living your life? I’d say so – you don’t owe anyone anything but at the same time, nobody owes you anything too – including their love.

I thought that I’d break if I ever saw my kryptonite with some guy. I thought it would be a screw driver to the heart. When it happened however, I didn’t feel anything. It felt just like running into an acquaintance.

I felt nothing because there was no longer anything.

Written by Mark S