My 6 Months of Being Single: 10 Things I’ve Learned

Since I’ve been single, friends say they’ve been living vicariously through my dating adventures. And so this post is for those who wonder what life is like on the other side. In the past 6 months of being single I’ve learned:

1. That everything starts with intention

Whether it’s someone you’ve just met or someone you’ve been in a relationship with, intention sets the foundation of what’s to follow. The friend zone was born from people who never set their intentions to be more than friends with someone they’d just met. To avoid friend zone – ask them out. By the way, guys and girls probably can’t be friends.

In a relationship, it’s a bit different. One of my guy friends has been in a long-term relationship and most recently confessed he’d been hanging out with new colleagues. All platonic he insists but he’s been keeping it from his wife. He’s not cheating on her but the dishonesty would be enough to questions his intentions. In sum, intention dictates outcome.

2. You are free to see other people unless you have the talk about exclusivity 

So this one is probably obvious to everyone but having been in long-term relationships for most of my adult life, this was new for me to learn.

 3. Online dating is no longer for ‘desperate’ people

With apps like Tinder, finding a date is as easy as order pizza. It can all be done from home in your pajamas.

 4. How to use Tinder

Albeit a short stint, I gave it a go. Why everyone is talking about Tinder.

 5. Chivalry is not dead

Though scarce, there are guys out there who still pick you up for a date, open doors, treat you like a lady. If that’s what you want, they’re out there.

6. To assemble Ikea furniture

So the quality of my assembly is questionable but I constructed my mobile wardrobe and 6 dining chairs on my own.

 7. To enjoy Friday nights in watching re-runs of Sex in the City

 8. Guys Mean What They Say

There is no need to read between the lines because guys are simple and usually mean what they tell you. Don’t believe us? Hear it from a guy here.

 9. Not to date guys for their ‘potential’

Say you meet a guy who doesn’t quite tick all your boxes and yet you compromise because you think…‘one day he’ll sort his finances out’ or ‘he’ll want to commit eventually’. What we don’t consider is that his ‘potential’ may never actualise or it’d take months, years. Do you have the patience to wait that long? It’s like buying a great pair of jeans two sizes too small. You think it’ll motivate you to lose the weight but it sets unrealistic expectations and sets us up for disappointment.

10. Not all the good ones are taken 

It’s true. I’ve met many nice single guys in the past few months. Though none quite right for me, I’m sure they’ll make some girl very happy. I have girlfriends who are afraid to leave their unhappy relationships because they worry they’d have to start over, that all the good ones are taken. This is me debunking  that myth.