How to Get Out of Friend Zone

The friend zone. At some point we’ve been in it or we’ve put someone else in it. Regardless, it’s a space no one likes to be in because let’s be honest- trying to get out of friend zone is like trying to shoot a target in the dark, when the target is moving and when you are moving. It’s always a tricky situation to navigate and so we tend to avoid it altogether and stay stuck in friend zone. So prevention is the best route to take with this one. Here are 3 things you can do to avoid being friend zoned.

If You Have Just Met

You’ve just met someone and find he/she is single. If you are attracted to him/her, ask them out. That way – you set your intentions from the beginning and there is no confusion to whether you are just a friend or more. By asking them out, I mean asking them out on a proper date. Don’t ask them to ‘hang out’ or invite them out to a group outing. You want to take out all the ambiguity possible so the object of your affection has the opportunity to see you as a potential partner and not someone to talk to about last week’s episode of Girls.

If You Are Already Friends

So perhaps you might have known this person for a little while now and you’ve developed feelings for them. Chances are you’ve already hit friend zone but fear not – many relationships start from friendships. To avoid losing the friendship, first acknowledge if your feelings are genuine or if you’re just lonely (i.e. make sure you don’t have the mermaid/merman syndrome where every prospect starts to look good after a man drought). Second, consider if you two would be a compatible romantic match (i.e. interests, personalities…etc). Often it’s easy to be infatuated with the idea of something and get lost in the reality of what it would be.

If your feelings are real then show intent in subtle ways. Flirt a little and see how he/she reacts. If you feel a change in the dynamic of your friendship, chances are your friend will too. Read: Can a guy and girl just be friends?

If He/She Is In A Relationship

This is where it gets tricky. Maybe you’re the ‘friend’ who is always there for him when he gets into a fight with her gf. He trusts you but sees you as one of the guys. No matter what you do, he just doesn’t seem to notice you in that way. There are many factors to consider with this one – mainly he is already in a relationship. If he is in a happy relationship, it’s best to leave your friendship as is. Keep a little distance and know there will probably come a better time to explore if you two could actually hit it off. However, if you feel your feelings are being reciprocated then be open and honest. There is a third party you risk hurting so the best approach to this is to work the issue out as soon as possible.

Parting words: The longer you stay in friend zone, the harder it will be to get out. So be brave and act swiftly! Read: A Guide to Modern Dating