Dear 2013: Thanks for All the Curveballs

 Those who know me will know 2013 has been a challenging year.

An unforeseen breakup, finding a place (home and country) to live post-breakup, visa issues…all whilst being unemployed was a lot for me to take on. At some point, I recall my friend telling me: everything that could have gone wrong has happened, things have to get better from here. It did.

And so as the year comes to a close and I find myself in a good place again, I’d like to take the time to reflect on all the lessons 2013 has imparted on me. Perhaps you can relate to them too…

Not Everyone Who Comes Into Your Life is Meant to Stay

This goes for relationships and friendships. Sometimes people grow apart. Be it in a friendship or a relationship, it’s inevitable that people evolve, pursue different interests or want different things. Whether you can change and still find a common ground is entirely up to you but sometimes, it’s just best to let go. Accept that some people will only come into chapters of your life but few will stay to see the rest of the story unfold. I appreciate the time I had with my now ex, that relationship taught me how to love selflessly and regardless of how much it hurt at the time, I’m thankful to have learned that lesson.

You’re Never Going to Be Happy All the Time

My mom gives the best advice. Put simply, during trying times, she’d say: that’s just life. Sometimes it’ll be good and sometimes it’ll be bad but neither are constant. Appreciate the good when it’s here and learn when times are hard. If you were happy all the time, would you really be grateful? Without the bad, you wouldn’t appreciate the good.It’s like drinking a cup of hot chocolate and than eating a sugary cupcake. Having sipped the hot chocolate, the cupcake loses its sweetness.

Know What You Want and You Will Attract It

This is not a spiel about The Secret but it’s simple. Work out what you want and you’ll be that much closer to finding it. I have a girlfriend who is often bewildered by the emotionally unavailable men she meets. When I ask her what she’s looking for in a partner, she is puzzled. The problem is, she doesn’t know what she wants in a man. Not knowing what you want in a partner or in life is like being given a map of the world without a destination in mind. How will you know where to go, which path to take if you haven’t decided on a destination? If you know what you want, you’re more inclined to seek it. Know what you’re after and you are more likely you’ll find it! It applies to all areas of life.

Sometimes Your Life Falls Apart and You Just Have to Let It

It’s odd but true. Things fall apart so the right things can fall back into place. My break up had a ripple effect in all areas of my life. From work, to my living situation to my visa status, it changed everything. Now looking back, I’m in a much better place because of it. Because of that, I’ve had a great year career wise, a home with an awesome flat mate and a reignited passion for dancing (swing & blues to be specific). Most importantly, it’s made me reevaluate what I want out of life and that has been the most liberating and empowering experience.

Good Friends Come from Unexpected Places

I’ve been so blessed by family and friends this year. From the cousin who made me a playlist of empowering break ups songs, my mom with her daily words of girl power wisdom and friends who took the time to work out the time difference to call and check up on me, I’ve felt nothing but love. What was truly amazing on top of that was the kindness of strangers and acquaintances. They were people I hadn’t known for awhile but who offered to listen…it’s been truly touching.

It’s been an interesting year and as much as I’m grateful for all the lessons I’ve learned, I am looking forward to starting fresh in 2014- total clean slate.