Things I’ve learned living in this world for 32 years

On Being a “People Person”

Most people you ask will probably tell you that they’re a “people person” but that’s not true. Just because you have friends to talk to and people “like you once you open up to them” doesn’t make you a “people person”. A “People person” is someone who can talk to a complete stranger, give them bad news and have the stranger not stab them. It’s when shit hits the fan and you can sustain your credibility and keep everything cool that makes you a “people person”. If you ever want to know how good you really are with people, I suggest taking three jobs in your life: be a tour guide (hint: your biggest problem aren’t the tourists but the bus driver). be a teacher (try telling a Chinese parent that his only male son just wont’ cut it in this world) be in sales (and work purely on commission). I’ve done the first two jobs and they’ve opened my eyes on how to really talk to people. I’ve never done sales but I envy people who can make it in sales. Speaking of sales…

On Getting Girls

There are two types of guys in this world: those who get it and those who don’t. When it comes to being successful with girls, I feel that it’s the Matthew effect: the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Once you “get it”, you get confident and girls can smell it a mile away. If you’re not good looking nor rich, having confidence and humor will more than compensate for it. Being desriable to the opposite sex is a totally learned behavior – most guys aren’t born with it. They’ve just learned it from someone who was willing to tell them. Note: this isn’t about being a player or loser pick up artist – it’s about living a life that’s interesting and worthwhile…so much that other people want to be part of your life. In terms of helping your fellow man: nothing worthwhile is ever free. Only help your homeboys, let the others burn.

On Being Happy

All I see these days are articles on how to be happy. All you have to do is follow ten steps to be happy – and it’s always about really wishy washy things: listen to people. Take time to breathe. Overcome adversity. I think there comes a point when people need to realise that there are different types of being happy. People confuse happiness with being content or grateful. I think the goal in life isn’t to be happy – it’s to accept who you are. If you don’t like children, I guess you don’t. Don’t feel bad for not liking children. People aren’t happy because they think one aspect of their life sucks because everyone else tells them it sucks. If you can accept your imperfections and you can understand them in a clear manner – I think that’s all you need – just be true to yourself.

On Wanting Other People’s Lives

In Asia, there’s a lot of envy for people who have money and resources. Beijing and HK are the same. In North America, there’s a lot of envy for people who are living a certain lifestyle (being married, having a house and a kid). All you have to do is go on Facebook and see what people put up. We live in a world where we need to constantly make other people feel like shit to make us feel better. I think it’s human nature and I accept it. Again, why would you let random people on Facebook see how you’ve redecorated your house? I think it’s human nature to express what we have to other people (albeit in direct, in your face manners) just to know where we stand in society. Just like a foot race – try not to look who’s behind you or beside you. It only makes things worse. Always remember the immortal words of Christopher Wallace:

N*&^% bleed just like us.  Picture me being scared of a n*$& that breathe the same air as me

Whoever you’re envying at this moment, this person has their own problems – possibly worse than yours. I’m pretty sure of that.

On Travel

If I were the government, I would make traveling mandatory – like military exercises. If you live in Canada and you think you’re not living a great life, I want you to go to a second tier city in China (or any country in SE Asia) and see how other people live. You’ll be on the first plane back to Canada, ready to hug Stephen Harper. After living in Asia for the last 3 years, I’m grateful that I call Canada home and we have health care, a good environment and democratic freedom. You should also be grateful that you’re a fluent English speaker – that means that no matter how big of a screw up you are in North America, you can always get a job somewhere in Asia (as I’ve witnessed countless of times). Traveling also breaks down a lot of discrimination and ignorance – it’s pretty simple: by the end of it, you learn that any place you go to – there’s always going to be nice people and there’s always going to be douchebags. That’s all you need to know about discrimination.

On Friends

Friends come and go – that’s just part of life. I think the universe sets it up that people come into your life for certain reasons. You were just supposed to meet this person at that one particular moment of need and they did it. Facebook fucked it up. Your conceptions of how great this person is have just been destroyed by a photo of him puking on himself at a Buffalo Bills game on fb.

On Getting a Hobby

Please don’t play video games. I’ve never heard a girl say that she fell in love with him because he completed Grand Theft Auto in 2 days.

On Being Successful in Your Career

If you’re not good at your job, it can be that it’s just not for you. Find a new career while you have time. If you’re under 30, there’s still plenty of time. If you’re not good at your job but you really like the industry, remember that NBA legendary coach Phil Jackson couldn’t get a job in the NBA and had to coach in Puerto Rico for a number of years.

That’s all I’ve learned.

Thanks

Mark