Why Social Media Is Stopping You From Meeting Your Future Partner

If you’re out in a social setting and reading this – stop and come back later. As much as we love your visits, you may just be missing out on the love of your life. I’m sure you may have seen this video already Look Up and it was enough to put myself on a digital detox.

The nature of my work requires me to spend a significant amount of time online but there are times when I find myself scanning my Facebook newsfeed out of boredom and laziness. It’s daunting to think that the technology that’s suppose to bring us closer keeps pulling us further a part. Our addiction to instant gratification is propelling the speed of our existing fast paced lives. A friend of mine recently told me he connected with his neighbour on Tinder. Apparently they had never crossed paths before and thanks to this technology they are now together. I’m going to put it out there and assume they never met because either one or both of them were on their phones when they crossed paths. It’s a bit sad how we need to rely on a piece of technology to meet people within a few feet from us.

There’s a time and place for the convenience of technology, like when you’ve had a big night and want to text your flat mate from your bed to see if she’s going out to pick up breakfast…practical things like that. But when it comes to meeting or getting to know someone in a romantic context, are LOLs as satisfying as actually hearing your crush laugh? No. And if you say yes, you are lying.

I commute in the mornings and every time I get on the bus, 90% of the bus load are on their phones with their heads down. How would you get the attention of that cute guy/girl if you don’t look up? My guy friends say they are tired of rejection, that apps like Tinder are great but some of them have also admitted they’ve been guilty of swapping a night in (with Tinder) than going out to ‘pick up’. There are no ‘real stats’ on how dating apps are changing us socially but I wouldn’t be surprised if the results come out to say we’re now more anti-social than ever.

Just how ‘social’ is social media than? How is it that the thing that’s connecting us is also isolating us? I’m not going to inflict my digital detox on you but I will leave you with this:

Why IRL (in real life) trumps Social Media in Dating

You Get To Use Your 5 Senses

Our attraction to a potential partner is formed with all of our senses. When we meet someone in person we can use all of our senses to gauge our attraction i.e. they way he smells, looks, sounds. It’s why sometimes online meetings in real life are so disappointing. With text, you can only have a formed perception of the person is like in real life. And so you can have all the witty banter you want and find out he has serious issues in the bo department. Ew.

 It’s Instant

This is a tad ironic but when you meet someone in real life, you know instantly whether there’s an attraction (especially true for men). With online, you can spend hours on text getting to know all the things you could in a hour conversation in person. ..only to find no chemistry when you meet them in real life. There is this ‘game’ daters play on text (I’ll write a follow up post on this because it’s a game we should all stop playing). You know, when you get a text and you don’t want to seem too eager to reply and so you wait 15 minutes to reply – what would have been a 5 minute conversation then drags on for HOURS.  Who has time to text all day not knowing if you are even physically attracted to someone?

It’s Romantic

“We met online and it was so romantic” – said no one ever. I’m sure people who meet online end up with great stories of courtship but there is something so romantic about meeting someone organically in person – those ‘coincidences’ in life that put you both at the same place and the same time…you don’t interfere with those.

With that I’m logging off.

Photo Credit: Raindog808