A Farewell to The Alpha Male

Move over alpha male. Women are after the men with a softer side. Cultural history tells us that masculine men covet feminine women and vice versa right? Actually, 76% of feminine women said they had a preference for feminine men in a recent study by online dating service ELITESINGLES . 

In the study into psychological gender and attraction, male and female ELITESINGLES members were first tested on their individual traits and then asked to rate the qualities they look for in a partner. But the cliché predicting sensitive, feminine women to desire assertive, protective men seems mistaken. In fact, 76% of women characterised by feminine traits were found to prefer men also characterised by feminine traits. Similarly, most men the study identified as psychologically masculine (59%) indicated a preference for a woman with a masculine character, and the same was true of 68% of women, suggesting gender identity plays a large part in attraction.

Dr. Wiebke Neberich, director of the study, commented that “relationships are often explained using two contradictory proverbs; either that ‘birds of a feather flock together’, or that opposites attract. For a long-term relationship the former is more realistic. A healthy relationship benefits from people being understanding and supportive: men and women with similar personalities typically match better since they have similar needs, exist in a comparable emotional world, and typically perceive things in a similar way, which all help to avoid conflict.

So what does this mean for guys? At the end of the day most women will want to know you’ve got their back. That, if needed you have it in you to defend their honour. But ideally, we’d like you to do that and then talk about your feelings after. Does that make us high maintenance? That’s up to you to decide.

Photo Credit: Hammerin Man