Is Marriage Still Relevant?

I don’t know if it’s all the GOT I’ve been watching or the hens nights I’ve been planning but lately, I’ve been questioning the relevance of marriage. Decades ago, marriage was a pathway to an end result. If you wanted more power in the family? Your family would try to match you with someone of equal status. Want to cross a bridge (reference Game of Thrones Season 3) to kill your enemies? Get married. Want to make an ‘honest’ woman out of someone you’ve ‘accidently’ shagged? Get married. You see where I’m going? Because it was a transaction, there was an end goal to marriage. But where the divorce rate is now at about 1 in 2, how relevant is marriage?

Marriage was first a financial transaction until it was romanticised by Walt Disney and princesses. But none of that is relevant today because as idealistic as I am, even I know Prince Charming has his flaws. Which begs the question…is marriage just a piece of paper? Is it something you do just because it’s the next step in your relationship or because you think it’s what society would want of you?

Here we have some very different perspectives:

Nick, 36, Single, IT Professional

I have never been a religious person and I have always had a non-traditional view on marriage and monogamy as a whole. My take on it has always been that if you make a commitment to someone, it doesn’t matter whether or not you have a little piece of paper and a ring that is certified by church and state.

I wouldn’t say my views have changed as I slowly mature, but I am certainly more open to the concept. I can definitely see myself and actually look forward to making a real commitment to an amazing woman.

I live with my sister and her fiance and they became engaged in December. My views on the actual wedding day have changed dramatically over the past 8 months. The amount of money, stress and family angst associated with a wedding is absolutely insane. Why would anyone want to devote a year of their lives, a deposit for a house and a lifetime worth of stress for a 6 hour party is beyond me.

Sheena, 29, Engaged, Sales Manager

What marriage means to me is companionship. Living in such a fast paced life can get lonely. Getting married means stability- financially and mentally because you always have someone to help you through everything. You can get all of that without being married but I guess I’m old school like that. For generations, marriage was a sign of commitment and compromise, both are important values to me. Marriage can be described as a legal paper, a fancy expensive wedding for the sake of it. This I understand but I want and have always wanted to get married because I wanted to bring our families together.

Amy, 31, Single, Marketing

When I was in my early 20s, I always thought I’d be married by 26. In retrospect, I had no idea what marriage meant. I just wanted a ring and to plan a wedding. But after two serious relationships, a series of weddings (that I’ve attended – not mine) and a handful of divorces later (again, not mine), I’ve learned to see it in a whole different light. People get married for 2 reasons – 1. Because they are in love and want to spend the rest of their lives with this person. 2. Because it was the right thing to do, the next step in their relationship, it was convenient, they felt pressured into it (yes I know it’s more than 1 reason but all these little big reasons fit into the category of marrying for the wrong reasons).

In an age where divorce is just like another bank transaction with lots more paper work, commitment is more than a piece of legal document. It’s about two people who want to make a real go of spending their lives together. No piece of paper will guarantee that your husband/wife will stay loyal. If the couple want to stay together, they have to make that commitment – wedding or no wedding. That said, do I still want to get married? Yep. But when I do, it won’t be to some guy who fills a role on a special day. It’ll be to someone I can’t bear the thought of going a day without…flaws and all.

Amanda, 34, Living with a long term partner with 3 kids

I think marriage is a personal choice and what it means to each person is different. Personally for me, it’s always been just a piece of paper. Marriage is about commitment and I have that with my partner already so why is there a need to shell out thousands of dollars.

I have married friends who splurged on their wedding day and then less than a year got divorced. It’s easy to get caught up in the hype of having an engagement and all the fuss that comes with it. I’ve seen friends get so consumed with details they forget about the person they’ve chosen to spend the rest of their lives with. They pick the perfect venue, dress, ring, dinner menu but have they picked the right guy? That’s still in question….

So, what are your thoughts? Is marriage still relevant today?

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