When Should You Text Him?
Iona is a Wellness Coach specialising in relationships and dating.…
So When Should You Text Him?
Type. Delete. Type. Send. Wait. That’s usually how it goes in the early stages of your relationship, when you’re just getting to know each other. You want your text messages to be witty, cheeky and flirtatious without seeming overly interested. Come on, you have to admit you’ve copy and pasted a text message to a friend at some point- just so they can help you come up with something funny to say. Guys do it too. It can take a whole team to craft one of these – I know because in the early stages of dating, you want to impress and sometimes it takes the help of a funny friend or two to come up with a funny reply. An innocent and playful activity right? Nope, apparently texting (like dating) also has 70 shades of grey. A recap with a conversation with my guy friend:
*Incoming text
Guy friend: Oh it’s Sheila, some chick I’m dating
Me: *coos oooooh a new girl on the scene eh?
Guy friend: Yep. She wants to know if I want to hang later
Me: You can text her back if you like
Guy friend: Nah, I’ll wait at least 15minutes. Any less than that and I’ll seem too eager.
Me: What are you kidding?
Guy friend: Yea….you have to wait. When a girl texts me back right away, I know she’s into me.
What!? Since when has text rules replaced The Rules book? Isn’t it just courteous to shoot a text back when you can? By the time I come up with something funny to say 15 minutes would’ve passed anyway so I didn’t have to stress about that.
Funnies aside though, there are times when it’s totally inappropriate to text i.e. when you send a fight is brewing over text or when you want to know ‘where the relationship is going?’. Here we asked our guy panel about dating etiquette.
Firstly, what is with this waiting 15 minutes to text back rule? Is it even a rule?
Michael: Only for people who play games.
Jess: Apparently it’s a rule. I usually text back when I can…unless he takes ages to reply as well. Then I’ll wait.
After a First Date, Who Should Text?
Michael: Either party. There shouldn’t be a game.
Jess: I’ll wait for the guy to text.
3. When should you send the follow up text after a first date or if you’d like another date?
Michael: Starting to talk about at the end of the night will make it a lot easier to bring up later on. If you’ve discussed that its a good idea and its about checking out your schedule, check your schedule and get back to them! I’m not sure theres a timeline. Of course, not the day of.
Iona: As soon as possible if you’re really interested.
4. What are some texting no-nos?
Michael: Don’t text? Just call? Unless the person doesn’t like being put on the spot. Otherwise, call!
Jess: Spelling and grammar.
5. If a girl/guy text you too much, would you lose interest?
Michael: Kind of tells me they’re attached to their phone and social media. There’s just expectations when a girl texts constantly that I don’t ever want to live up to. We all have lives outside of texting.
Jess: No, not if I really like them.
6. How long should you wait in between texts?
Michael: How ever long you want. If its urgent, then not so long, but then why not just call?
Jess: Depends on the context of the conversation.
7. Are emoticons okay?
Michael: Emoticons are fine. Just an extension of communication. =)
Jess: Yep but when you’ve replaced text with emojis you’ve gone too far.
8. Xs at the end of the text, should we read into this?
Michael: Depends on if you receive it all the time or not. If its irregular, then sure. Its a sign off. I’m pretty sure we ignore our email sign offs – e.g. Kind Regards – I’m pretty sure I don’t mean it, but its the right thing to put there.
Jess: Nope – bring them on. x
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Iona is a Wellness Coach specialising in relationships and dating. She works with single women to write their own love stories.