Can You Make a Long Distance Relationship Work?

Can You Make a Long Distance Relationship Work?

Bill Gates was in a long distance relationship once. He and his then girlfriend would plan to watch a movie and then discuss it afterwards. They are still married. If Bill Gates can do it, we are no different right?

Different time zones, disjointed lives and geographic distance can weaken the strongest of relationships. But with cheaper flight fares and a gazillion text apps available, they’re not all doomed to fail. ‘I love a long distance relationship’ – said no man or woman ever. Long distance relationships are like the new McFlurrys they’ve introduced at Maccas (McDonalds) lately. It’s called a McFlurry, it has the same McFlurry flavours but you know, it’s not quite like the real thing (because now you have to mix it yourself). I digress.

School, career, family commitments…they can physically put a wedge between your relationship. So do you call it quits when someone great comes along or do you sign yourself up for day long text conversations and Skype dates? How do you know when it’s time to give it a go or let it go?

1. There’s a Timeline to Kill the Distance

If you’re going to put yourself into a long distance relationship, make sure there is an end game so when times get tough, you’ll be able to see an end in sight. If you don’t have a timeline where one of you will move, you might need to draw a clearer map of your future together. When you don’t have a shared goal to end the long distance in your relationship, it’s easy for your lives to drift a part. Having been in a long distance relationship for 4 years, I don’t think I would want to be in a long distance relationship for more than a year. A year is a realistic timeline to work through your priorities, to request for transfers, move closer, find a job or find a solution to be together physically.

2. You Have Shared Goals

I’ve written about setting your intentions before but in a long distance relationship, it’s especially important. Otherwise, why put yourself through it? A few questions to ask: Where do you see your relationship in 6 months? a year? What are his thoughts on elephants? Is he fine with your weird fascination with prisons? What kind of future do you want to have? It’s important to have shared values and goals especially if you’re in it for the long haul. Set the intention and know where you both stand.

3. A Level of Commitment

There is no big secret to a successful long distance relationship. It takes two people who are committed to making it work. So, work out how many times you’ll see each other, who will travel and activities you can do together whilst being a part. So there is no room for miscommunication, you should also figure out some relationship boundaries. Tip: Words are everything in a long distance relationship but actions do really speak louder than words so do what you say and throw in some surprises.

I’m not going to sugarcoat it. Long distance relationships can be tricky but they can also be really fun.

If you’re already in one. Congrats. Send us a few ideas to add to the following list.

Pros and Pros of a Long Distance Relationship

– Handwritteen letters, so you can practice your penmanship. Time to get that upgrade from kindergarten writing

– Weekends and holidays together

– Creative Skype chats

– Waking up to text msgs – thank you international time zones

-Pursuing your dream apart whilst still being together

Are you in a long distance relationship? Share your thoughts.