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Valentine’s Day: Thanks but No Thanks

Valentine’s Day: Thanks but No Thanks

valentines-day-balloonsWhy I’m Not Celebrating Valentine’s Day

I used to love rom coms, roses and Valentine’s Day. One year, my then boyfriend forgot about the occasion and half heartedly made a last minute restaurant booking – which he was 45min late for. I was furious that he didn’t ‘respect’ the Hallmark tradition like I did. To him the day held absolutely no significance, for him or for our relationship. In fact, he was angry that I had to make such a big deal out of it in the first place. There we were – caught in a quarrel on what was meant to be the most romantic day of the year.

Since then I haven’t celebrated Valentine’s Day – not because of my relationship status but because of my new understanding of relationships. To celebrate Valentine’s Day is like wearing a pair of rose tinted glasses for a day. It’s one day where society expects you to cast aside all of your problems and celebrate your relationship, the one day you throw all your effort into telling someone that you love them. So what happens when the day is over and you go back to reality? Does effort go out the door? 

I went to a wedding last weekend where the priest talked about love – in a way I’ve never heard. He said most people associate love as a feeling but really, love is a decision. It’s not a Hollywood cliche you ‘fall’ in and out of. It’s a conscious decision you make everyday – to appreciate and support your partner. As a romantic at heart, I can’t completely agree that love can be rationalised  because when it comes to romantic relationships, there are a lot of feelings involved. But, what I can agree with is the effort it takes to maintain a relationship – it takes more than just feelings and warm fuzzies. Having strong feelings for someone is not enough if you’re in it for the long haul. I find that the strongest relationships have one thing in common – commitment. I’m not talking about infidelity but the commitment to make the relationship work – everyday and not just Valentine’s Day. 

Which brings me to my initial point – one day out of 365 isn’t going to magically improve my relationship, it’s a work in progress everyday. I’d much rather surprise my significant other ‘just because’ – not because of some commercial occasion told me to. 

If you have grand plans for the occasion – good on you. Make sure you celebrate your relationship the other 364 days of the year. If you share my sentiment, you’ll know Feb 14 will just be like any ordinary day – with just as much love in it as the other 364 days of the year. 

Instead of giving you Valentine’s Day ideas, I’ll leave you with a few thoughtful things you can do everyday:

1. Leave little post it notes around the house. I got this idea from my cousin, whose fiancee leaves her cute messages at random. When she travels, he hides them in her suitcase. It’s the little things that make the biggest impact. 

2. Write a letter and post it. The only mail we get these days are bills. Wouldn’t it be nice to get something in the mail that doesn’t ask you for money. 

3. Look your best. Always. 

4. Put in some time. Shut off all technology and just be present. 

5. Remember that flowers or chocolates aren’t limited to special occasions and birthdays.

Are you celebrating Valentine’s this year? 

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