Here’s Why Your Career May Be Holding Back Your Love Life

As women, we often want to do it all don’t we? We want the career, a love life, a fit body and a family. Whilst most say women are great at multi-tasking, sometimes it just isn’t possible to juggle all of it – and it’s often our love lives that fall by the wayside, even though it is something we really want.

Beyonce may have 24 hours in a day like the rest of us but she also has personal assistants, stylists and chefs to make sure her life is ticking to the beat of success. In a lot of my discovery calls, I speak to women who have everything in their life sorted – they’re at a level in their career where they’re ready to take time out and start a family and they often have the finances to do it with ease. The only issue is – they haven’t found a man to do it with.

It all comes to one problem and I’ve seen it over and over again – these women haven’t found anyone to date because they’re dating their jobs. Are you doing it too?

Take Note of Where Your Time is Going

How we spend our time is an indication of our highest values. And often we put our lives on rinse and repeat, too busy to notice what we actually spend time on. In a notepad or excel sheet, log what you do with each hour of your day. Do you wake up and go straight to your inbox to reply to work emails? Do you eat breakfast in front of the computer? Do you go home and finish that presentation due the next day? If all of the above apply, you are definitely dating your job. If you’re spending over 50% of your time on work, it may be time to shift the attention to your love life.

Setting the Intention

This tip isn’t complicated – because chasing after our desires shouldn’t be. Here’s how to get what you want in life : ask for it  and then go get it. There are so many reasons why women are afraid to ask for what we want. Did you know that women are less likely than men to go for a job promotion because they don’t feel prepared enough to do so? Men go after what they want and learn along the way whereas women have to know how exactly they’re going to get from a to b. Don’t worry about the ‘how’, just set the intention of getting what you want by simply asking for it. Instead of saying: “but I’m too busy to date”, “I don’t have time for men”, “I need to focus on my career”, tell a friend/colleague/family member that you’re ready to meet someone special. Say it out loud because when you declare your desires, the universe listens. You have to genuinely be open to the idea of meeting someone.

I’m Too Busy

“I’m too busy” is a great excuse for successful 30 somethings – no one probes you after you tell them you’re too busy to date. They just assume you have different priorities and aren’t really interested in someone. But we attract what we focus on. If you’re not prioritising time to meet someone, you may be missing out on opportunities to meet someone great. You need to make time for what you want (this applies to all areas of your life). No matter what your schedule is like, set some time to go on dates. When I work with busy women, I always ask them to set aside 2 days a week for their love lives. Whether it’s to go on dates or to spend some solo time, it’s important to make space for love.

Often being ‘too busy’ is a sign that we’re holding back on something in our lives. The ‘busy’ in our lives is a distraction, an excuse, a wall we put up to avoid confronting the things we fear. If you often find yourself ‘too busy’, it may be a good time to look at the reasons behind it. In my coaching programme, I work with women to uncover blocks like this one. If you’d like to chat about it, book a discovery call.

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