Why you should NEVER be too comfortable in your relationship status – this applies to single women

Some people say you should never get too comfortable in a relationship and it’s true. But lately I have come to realise that you should also never be too comfortable with your single status either.

Controversial right? Aren’t you supposed to be happy and comfortable single? Isn’t that the whole idea to finding love? To love yourself so much you don’t need anyone? All true – to a certain extent.

The idea of loving your single status is great but in speaking with women in the past month – I find that “I love being single” belief has completely lost its meaning. I now see women now using it as an excuse to put in less effort in meeting men when deep down they do want a relationship that is soul satisfying.

Meet Sara

I have a friend named Sara*, Sara is in her 40s and has been in a few serious relationships. But for most of her life, she has lived alone in her one bedroom apartment. She is self-sufficient, career orientated, financially wealthy and keeps herself busy with the occasional date. Nothing wrong in that scenario is there? Only problem is – she’s been single for so long she’s gotten too complacent. Even though she feels lonely, she doesn’t want to ‘bother’ making time and space for anyone serious – thinking men will just tie her down and cramp her style. When I last spoke to her, she called me crying. Christmas was fast approaching and she had no one to spend it with: “Sometimes I look at these 4 walls in my small apartment and I just want to kill myself. If something were to happen to me, no one would find out”. These episodes with Sara come up from time to time and uncovers so many things about her beliefs and fears of finding a relationship. These beliefs and fears are rooted so deep from years of experience and conditioning that it’s actually easier for her to surprise them and convince herself she is happy single.

Nothing ever happens in the comfort zone

We are all guilty of complacency in one way or another. How many of us go into a 9-5 job we don’t love and don’t do anything about? How many times have you bought a book, purchased a course and not do anything with it?

Sometimes things just go in the ‘too hard’ basket, leaving us to exist with the life that’s given to us. That is NOT the way life works. Most of us have the resources to change the aspects of life we’re not happy yet.

If you can relate to any of the above, this is your wake up call to change what you don’t like about your love life.

Are you complacent with your single status? Here are a few ways complacency shows up when you’re single.

You don’t have time for a relationship – so why bother making an effort with your appearance?

You get jealous every time a friend gets married or engaged but you also think the good men are taken so what’s the point of putting yourself out there?

You never say YES to any situations where you could meet anyone. The Netflix and chill Friday routine has gotten way too good.

You’ve resigned to a life with cats, not a man.

You don’t need a relationship, you have a group of men you can call for company and short term comfort aka casual flings.

Whether you are single or taken, you should never be comfortable with your relationship status because it is a constant work in progress. The things that may influence complacency has everything to do with our mindsets, beliefs and fears around our relationships. In my 30 day Next Level Bootcamp, we deep dive into uncovering them so we can remove the blocks to finding the kind of relationship we crave.

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