The Single’s Guide to Attending Holiday Gatherings

Hi Friends, 

The holidays are tough when you’re solo. I remember dreading the entire period of December to February (Christmas, New Years, Valentine’s Day) – a reminder that there was no one to share it with. If it’s the 3rd year in a row that you’re showing up solo at your family’s annual shindig – I can understand (so can many other singles). Though you may have accomplished so much in most areas of your life the only question people still tend to ask is:

“So have you met anyone yet?”.

“Who are you seeing now?”.

“Oh how about so and so from my colleague’s brother’s cousin’s BBQ last week?”.

“When are you getting married?”.

Questions that are annoying enough to make you ditch the turkey and gravy you’ve been craving all month. I wrote something similar last year but if you’ve already that it, here is the newer, improved guide to attending holiday events on your own.

Things have meaning only when you assign significance to them

Do you ever notice how an event can happen to the same people but spark two totally different reactions to them? It can be a tragic event or a meeting they both have participated in – one can see opportunity from it and come out thriving while the other only sees the disadvantage and gets nothing in return.

Things don’t have meaning until you give it meaning.

Think of every event as a blank canvas- you can make a situation whatever you want it to be i.e. opportunity vs setback. In the case of attending a holiday gathering, think of it as catch up time with family, not another chance for you to play 5th wheel at the dinner table. You have the power to change a situation when you assign a different meaning to it.

Make a pact with a guy friend

For every single girl out there dreading the holiday season, there is a guy who is feeling the exact same way. Trust me. I speak to them so they exist. Find him. Then make a pact to be each other’s date for all family and social events for the season. When you have a date, people will be quietly wondering when you’ll get married/have babies rather than asking you the same “have you met anyone?” questions you’ve heard in the past few years. 

Create your own Christmas party 

If you have a knack for entertaining, host your own singles Christmas party. Despite feeling like the only spinster, there are other women and men in the same situation. Have every person you invite bring another single friend of the opposite sex. Not only is it a great opportunity to meet new people, it may also be the place your find your New Years date.

Decide that THIS is going to be the last Christmas you’ll show up single

It’s a bold move but setting the intention is a very powerful thing. Once you’ve put it in your mind that this year will be the last holiday season you’ll be single (you have to be convinced of this), you will appreciate the perks of singledom. In fact, list 10 great things about being single over the holidays. The first few may be hard to write but once you get to 6, you’ll realise it’s not so bad after all.

If I were to tell you the truth, I’d say the grass is not greener on the other side. Most single women I know want to be in a relationship and many women in relationships crave their single days. We always think it would be better if… but it never is. You can be just as happy single or coupled up. Don’t wait till you find the guy to be happy – you owe it to yourself to find it now.

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p.s. My signature Next Level Love Bootcamp is now open for registration and you’re the first one to know about it. Click to find out how 30 days can be the game changer to your love life this year.

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