Why she isn’t texting you back

Transcript: No, your phone is not broken. This is probably the reason why she isn’t texting you back.

Alright, welcome back to the channel. So this is 30everafter, and we’re all about dating relationship tips. So if this is something you’re interested in, don’t forget to hit like and subscribe.

So today we’re talking about what it means when a girl isn’t texting you back. And this is such a terrible feeling – when you feel like your love life has just been on hold, because you’re waiting for this 1 text from a girl.

So often I hear some of you guys say, well, make up excuses. “Maybe she’s busy. Maybe she’s lost her phone. Or maybe she doesn’t have reception.” It’s 202, of course she has reception. Although it is questionable in Australia because the Internet goes in and out all the time. Even if she’s in Australia and she’s not texting you back, it’s not because of the internet connection.

But I’ve come up with 3 likely reasons why this person isn’t calling you back. So let’s get into it:

#1 – She’s found someone else.

And this is hard to say, but it’s reality. If she isn’t texting you back, it’s not because she’s busy or she’s forgotten. It’s probably because she’s moved on, or it doesn’t see you as a potential love interest.

And often telling someone that you found or you’ve met someone else – it isn’t an easy conversation, because you have to think about how you’re gonna say it; whether you’re gonna hurt the person’s feelings; whether the other person is going to be mad. So sometimes it’s just easier to ignore.

Now, if you are the person who found someone else, it is common courtesy to just say, “Hey, I really enjoyed getting to know you, but I just wanted to let you know that I found someone else. Best of luck on your search and finding someone. I hope you find your happiness.” Say something like that, it’s common courtesy. Then at least you let the other person know where you stand and they don’t have to agonize over what they’ve done wrong, or whether you’re still interested. So that was #1.

#2 – She’s not interested in you and doesn’t want to lead you on.

So that’s another conversation to have- a difficult conversation to have- when you aren’t interested in someone, and you don’t really wanna tell them. So the next thing to do is just ignore them and hope that the other person loses interest.

So again, if you’re that person, you might want to say something along the lines of, “Hey, I really enjoyed getting to know you, but I’m kind of feeling like friend vibe here. Happy to be friends, but I don’t think there’s anything romantic going on here.” Then you’re straightforward, honest. The other person can move on. And if she told you she’s not interested in you, then at least you know you can move on.

But if she isn’t texting you back, you can probably assume that she’s not interested. Because someone who is interested in you, will invest time and will reciprocate. So if you’re texting someone that you’re interested in and they feel the same, they will text you back, regardless of how busy they are. So stop making excuses for them. Because if they like you, they text you.

#3 – She’s avoiding conflict.

So there must be a difficult conversation. Maybe she’s interested in your guy friend. Maybe she’s just not interested. Or maybe she’s not really into you, because of XYZ reason. She doesn’t really want to tell you the real reason why. People avoid texts to avoid difficult conversations.

So if you really want some closure and get to the bottom of why a girl isn’t texting you, then you can say something along the lines of, “Hey, I’ve texted you a few times and I haven’t heard back. All good. I just want to let you know I’m still interested in you, but if you don’t feel the same way, just let me know and I hope we can be friends.” Something like that to kind of close the loop on whatever you guys had. And this is especially great if you’ve been on a date with someone for maybe 1-5 dates. You’re not in a relationship yet, so you don’t need a thorough explanation. But you just want to know that the person is not interested anymore.

So yeah, I think with the new dating landscape with these dating apps and people dating multiple people on the go, I think we’ve kind of lost some of the common courtesy that comes with dating. If you’re not interested in someone, don’t be a chicken. Just tell them you’re not feeling it, so that the other person can move on. And if you’re the one being ghosted and ignored, don’t be shy about wanting some closure, wanting some answers, even if you’ve only been on 3 dates.

Hopefully this answers some of your questions, because I do get a lot of emails from guys, asking what to do if a person doesn’t text back. The harsh reality is, probably because they’re not interested and you should really be investing your time on somebody who is. 

So hope you enjoyed this video, and if you have any more ideas for me to cover, leave them in the comments and I’ll see you next time. Thanks for watching, bye!

Photo by Annemarie Grudën on Unsplash