Transcript: Hey, welcome back to the channel. So today we’re talking about the love bombing. What is it? And signs that you’ve be dating a love bomber.
So, love bombing is when somebody showers you with affection, attention and all the things that you need, to feel safe and feel like you’ve been wooed. So once you’ve been wooed, or if this person has got their chase, then things kind of turn around. And they use that, they use their powers over their partner to manipulate them, and it can be a sign of abuse.
So, here are a couple of signs that you may be dating a love bomber. Now, keep in that, if your partner displays one of these, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re love bombing or you’re in an abusive relationship. You want to take a look at your whole relationship as context. You want to look at all of these signs.
So let’s get into it:
#1 – They seemed infatuated, overly so.
So it’s perfectly normal for someone to be infatuated in a relationship. It’s normal, right? Your first 3 months, you can’t get enough of this person. You’re just so high on dopamine, that everything is perfect, everything is all roses.
But, if a person seems too keen to move over a relationship forward, like they want to move in right away or they wanna get married right away, you’re perfect to them, then it could be a red flag. It could mean that they’re infatuated, but it could also mean that they’re love bombing, because that’s how it starts. Love bombing starts off with a lot of intensity, and that person will make you feel like you are their whole world.
So watch out for infatuation. Healthy relationships, you know, move at a steady pace. So if this person is trying to rush you along, it could be a sign.
#2 – They want to dominate your time. This is unhealthy behaviour.
Regardless if this person is love bombing or not. If someone is trying to dominate your time, they’re trying to control you and it’s not exactly the most healthy feature of a good relationship. In a relationship, 2 people need their own time. I think you need your own space. And healthy relationships start when 2 people are independent, not codependent.
But if this person is getting angry at you because you want to spend time with your girlfriends, or you just want time alone and you don’t want to spend it with them, and they get angry or they get frustrated, then that’s definitely a sign. When they wanna dominate every single moment of your time, they want to exert some sort of control over you. So, that could be a red flag.
#3 – You could do no wrong right now.
And it’s true in the first 3 [months of a] relationship, where everyone’s on their best behaviour, and you really can’t do no wrong, and they can’t do any wrong.
But if this person is being too much, they’ll constantly shower you with attention, constantly tell you that you’re perfect, constantly buy you gifts, and they’re all kind of all over you, the point of smothering you. And this person could make you think “he’s too good to be true”, and your friend might be thinking “is this guy/girl for real? It’s too good to be true.”
If you feel that way, then things are probably too good to be true, and you may just need to step back. And again, I think if it all just feels a little bit too much and too overwhelming, it’s probably a sign, that this person could be a love bomber, right?
And all of these 3 signs could just reflect someone who’s overly keen and very infatuated in the beginning of a relationship.
But it could also mean the beginning of some very emotionally abusive behaviour. So if you are in doubt that you’re dating a love bomber, talk to her friend, talk to a counselor, talk to the mental health specialist and see what they think. But I think, at the end of the day, trust your gut. All healthy relationships have some kind of boundaries, and if you feel like someone’s coming in and, you know, kind of breaking down those boundaries, and you’re not comfortable with it, it’s time to say something. You know, it’s perfectly normal to ask for space and for a relationship to grow naturally at a pace where both people are comfortable.
So I hope that video helped you. If you have dated a love bomber and could relate to these signs, leave me a comment, I would love to know, and I will see you next time! Thank you so much for watching, bye!
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Iona is a Wellness Coach specialising in relationships and dating. She works with single women to write their own love stories.