Iona is a Wellness Coach specialising in relationships and dating.…
I didn’t think I would be updating my Facebook status to ‘Suddenly Single’ at the age of 31. When you’re in your 30s, most of your friends are either posting engagement/wedding photos or their offspring’s play dates. Here I was – pushing the reset button on my life. Breakups are merciless in that regardless of your age or length of the relationship, it hurts just the same. Call me bias but a breakup in your 30s has that added gut wrenching factor. You’ve done the whole dating scene in your 20s and thought this would be the last guy you’d ever sleep with.
Now that everyone around you seems to have their ducks in a row, you’re starting over solo. Why does 30 and single get such a bad rap?
It depends on who you talk to
If you want hope that you’ll meet the man/woman of your dreams someday, do not talk to your perpetually single friends. Chances are, they’re pretty jaded by the whole dating scene and need the hope as much as you do. I always turn to a girlfriend who has a library of happy stories about girls who have found someone special in various life stages. Friends who are coupled up were single at some point. Remember how many losers they had to date before they finally found their current partner? Now you get to do the same. Whether or not you’ll make it fun or not is entirely up to you.
We’re Cashed Up!
Unless you have a mortgage or family commitments, it’s likely that you have more disposable income than ever. This means you have more to spend on yourself and an opportunity to make dating really fun. What better way to get to know someone than scuba diving or over a nice meal from a hatted restaurant? Being single in yours 30s can give you the freedom to do that.
The Bridget Jones Theory
“If I met you on a night out, I’d ask why you were still single.” said a married guy friend of mine. Note- he is already married. My point? A single guy wouldn’t ask you that, otherwise he’d be questioning his own single status. Sure the single stigma exists but you’re just going to shrug it off and know you’re single because you’re not settling for someone less than great. The divorce rate is about 1 in 2. Sadly, many of your friends who married in their 20s will be divorced in a few years. The best thing about dating in your 30s is that you already know what you do and don’t want in a partner. You have a better chance of building a solid foundation. Bridget Jones was 32 when she eventually found the one. Later in life than most but I’d rather be Bridget Jones than settle.
