Why Men Are Like Chocolates
It started when my sister and I were both single – I’m still single, but
she’s married with kids now – and we’d jokingly use chocolate as a metaphor
for men. We’d say things like ‘Oh, he’s a Caramel Chew – such hard work!’ It
went from there.
In your book, you compare chocolates with all different types of men. How
did you come up with the ideas? Through your own dating experiences?
Yes. I expanded out this running joke my sister and I had and thought about
all the men I’d dated and which chocolates might best represent them. I
couldn’t believe how many there were. (Chocolates, I mean!) Also, it was a
great chance for me to pass on some hard-won love lessons in a humorous way.
You compare men to chocolate but what about women?
I’ve never dated women, so I wouldn’t know (heh heh). I think the men and
chocolate analogy works so well because they’re two of the greatest sources
of female pleasure!
Can you tell us about 3 types of chocolate and tips on how to date them?
Sure.
A drunken larrikin is a Rum Ball. He’ll be the first to tell you, ‘I love
you.’ Problem is he’s also told his best mate, the bartender and the cab
driver, so you shouldn’t take it too literally. Chances are he’s not
boyfriend or husband material, so just keep him as a drinking buddy.
A beach-loving surfer is a Coconut Chocolate. He’d much rather be surfing
the break than surfing the Net, and he’s got the physique to prove it! If
you’re picking up good vibrations from him, great. But if all he’s really
interested in is a big wave, that’s exactly what you should give him… bye!
An emotionally stingy man is a Caramel Chew. He’s not the type to fall into
your arms but, rather, keep you at arm’s length for as long as possible.
Delicious but difficult, it’s clear he’s troubled but you can’t gnaw through
his layers forever. Eventually, if he doesn’t soften up, you’ll have to spit
him out.
Are there any ‘chocolates’ you’d advise us to steer away from?
Yes. Chocolate Bullet – get out of the firing line! This man has issues, and
he’s not afraid to show it. The only reason he’s worth mentioning is so you
can dodge him. He’s bitter, aggressive and potentially abusive, so just
don’t go there.
What are your top 3 dating tips?
Tip 1: The late Dr Randy Pausch, an American university professor who died
of pancreatic cancer in 2008 at the age of 47, left one piece of advice for
his (at the time, infant) daughter about men: ‘Don’t listen to anything they
say, and just pay attention to what they do.’ So simple, yet so true.
Tip 2: If you want to share your life with someone then invest some time and
energy into finding and keeping that person. Don’t expect it to just
‘happen’. (I’m a big fan online dating!)
Tip 3: Learn how to move on as quickly as possible from men (or women) who
are ‘just not that into you’ or are just not capable of giving you what you
want. I think people stay in going-nowhere relationships (or
‘relationettes’) for too long, waiting for things to magically change.
What’s your ideal guy? Is he a mix of different types of chocolates?
Yes, he’s definitely a mix of chocolates. He’s probably a Honeycomb
Chocolate (has a heart of gold), a Fruit & Nut Chocolate (has a creative
streak and is, therefore, full of interesting bits & pieces) and a Chocolate
Icing (the icing on my cake).
There’s been a lot of talk about Tim Robbards ‘The Bachelor’. What kind of
chocolate is he?
Ha ha! I actually wrote a piece about the first Australian season of The
Bachelor, and how I appreciated that he resisted the ‘fairytale ending’
thing so common to the American version. Anyway… Tim’s a gym junkie, so
he’s a Chocolate Protein Bar. He likes the beach, so he’s a bit of a Coconut
Chocolate. And at the moment, he’s Anna’s Chocolate Icing – the icing on her
cake. (The cake being her already great life as a smart, fun, gorgeous gal
and successful criminal lawyer.)
What can we expect to learn from your book?
You’ll learn the pros and cons of lots of different types of men (with the
use of chocolate as a metaphor) and how to handle them. Expect to laugh.
Expect to see men in a sweeter (literally!) light. And expect a surprise
ending. Although it may seem like a fun little book on the surface (and it
is), it’s also jam-packed with great advice and a lot of integrity.
Is there anything else we should know?
Yes, the book has morphed into a live event! Designed for hens’ nights, but
also great for anything where there’s a large group of women, you can read
all about it on my Elly Klein website.
What's Your Reaction?
