Guys Tell Us What They Are Thinking On The First Date
We can analyse why men behave the way they do. Truth is, they are all different which means there is no standard. Don’t believe us? We went straight to the source.
1. What are you thinking during the first date?
Aiden: During a first date I’m trying to learn as much as I can from the other person. I think of the questions I can ask to find the truth! With truth, I mean get to know their true self. Behind the make up and heels, there is a girl and that’s the person I want to meet.
Mark: The given is that I’m going to marry this girl but as the date goes along, I look for red flags to disqualify her. If she’s on time +2, if she’s late -2. If she’s 5 minutes late, no points.
Nick: I honestly try and not think at all. If I am thinking, I am not present and I am also probably bored. In my experience, the best dates come from feeling and going with the flow. There are times when I obviously have to think, like when I am moving venues, but again those moments are chosen because they feel right, not because of an imposed schedule.
2. Why do guys tell a girl they had a good time and then never call again?
Aiden: I personally prefer to say I had a great time but I think we are not a match. It’s better to be honest for you and for her. False expectations are terrible.
Mark: 1) They’re being polite. 2) They’re really that busy. 3) He’s waiting for her to make the next move…because if she does, then he knows that he’s won her over.
Nick:I can only comment on my approach as I honestly find it hard to believe how some men act. If I have had a good time, I will genuinely mean it. If I have not, I will just say it was nice to meet the person, say goodbye and send a little SMS in the morning saying it was nice to meet them and wish them good luck in the future.
Unfortunately a lot of men are not man enough to actually say what they mean and will often unintentionally lead a woman on to avoid conflict. Saying that, they might have had a lovely time in the moment then realised with post-date clarity that the woman they went out with is not actually the right woman for them.
3. What are your rules for texting?
Aiden: It depends. There are some things you must say face to face like breaking up with someone. But in general I like texting. I’m a bit shy sometimes, so texting is more my thing.
Mark: I text when I’m bored at work. I hate texting because when they don’t reply you think they’re ignoring you. It’s those damn checkmarks. I always reply to people’s texts just because I’m neurotic but it’s a double edged sword. If i don’t like them, I’ll take my time. If I like them, I’ll delay too because I don’t want to appear to eager.
Nick: I have a huge amount of thoughts on the topic of texting and I have refined my approach over time and believe I am very good in this particular area. To begin with though, I tend to recommend the following 2 resources which are freely available on the Internet. They’re also created by 2 of the coaches at School Of Attraction where I teach.
1. SQI Loop
While we have modified the approach from a coaching perspective, it is a good place to start. Like many things in the dating world, becoming good at texting takes time, practice and experimentation.
4. Best date idea?
Aiden: The ideal date is a place where I can chat with someone without interruptions and have a few drinks to break the nerves and get the conversation going. Dinner would be a good idea for a second date. For a first date I’m only testing the waters.
Mark: Getting ice cream and sitting in the park
Nick: I don’t think there is any ‘silver bullet’ date! However, a good date is something I will enjoy because if I am having fun and enjoying the experience my date is probably going to as well. I also recommend a number of venues to keep the environment fresh and to allow for escalation.
5. What’s a first date deal breaker?
Aiden: Well, maybe finding out the other person is superficial or full of herself. I hate rudeness and selfishness.
Mark: When she’s late, when she smokes and when she’s not even pretending to reach for her wallet when the bill comes. If i’m playing for keeps, I can’t have a princess. I want Cinderella before she wore that gown.
Nick: I’m sure there must be particular things that a woman could say or do that would completely turn me off, but generally it is just a feeling about that person. It is only possible to gain so much information about a person on a first date (especially if you meet them online or in the street), which means it is incredibly important to listen to your intuition.
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