How Your Single Status is Strangely Like Being Unemployed
A few months ago, a friend and I found ourselves in two completely different yet similar situations. I was unemployed and she was 6 months out of a long term relationship.
I left my job because it no longer fitted what I wanted in a career. So without any other prospects, I quit expecting the offers would come rushing in. My single, attractive monogamy loving friend Kim left her boyfriend of 5 years because she no longer felt the ‘spark’. She thought it wouldn’t be long until she fell back into another relationship. And with these expectations came a string of bad dates and disappointment and left us feeling…insecure and ridden with anxiety.
Just like like when you’re unemployed, being single (even if it’s just a few months) can feel like a lifetime. Jaded by bad dates or incompatibility, it’s easy to get to a point where you question if it’s time to update your dating ‘cv’, go to the gym or work on your personality. You start to wonder if there’s anything you should fix and consider asking your dates for feedback.
If you compare your job search to finding a mate, it’s an oddly similar process. Just like you would a CV, you present your best self with a great outfit, shiny hair and makeup. You go on dates as you would interviews, ask and answer the same questions – repeat and repeat. This happens again and again before you find someone that just clicks.
What can we learn from this you ask?
Know there’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing or not doing. You may have the perfect ‘cv’ but just like in a job where culture and personality fit matters, the same goes for dating. There are so many things to consider i.e. your values, sense of humour, his Star Wars collection (I jest!…unless you’re into that sort of thing). You can’t expect to be compatible with every guy you meet.
Whilst it may seem like you’ve been single forever, know that just like your next job…something will always turn up when the timing is right. With this I leave you with
5 rules of job hunting that also apply to dating:
- Don’t look desperate
- Do dress appropriately. You only have one chance to make an impression. Leave the sparkle and glitter at home.
- Don’t talk about your dating history
- Don’t settle
- Be present. It’s not the time to update your Facebook status or snap chat your bestie.
Photo Credit: Daniele Martinie
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