How Much Should An Engagement Ring Cost?

They say you’re meant to spend 3 months salary on an engagement ring but if you’re partner is making a decent salary, this tradition could equate to a rock that would blind a Kardashian. Traditionally, engagement rings were a source of financial security for women. Back in the day marriage was the only financially sound option for most women and if she was no longer a virgin, her prospects for a suitable future marriage were greatly decreased and so the engagement ring was an insurance policy of some sort. From Tiffany’s marketing campaigns to celebrity engagement bling, rings have taken on a whole new meaning…what does this mean? What are the new rules? How much should an engagement ring cost? We asked the panel.

1. How much should a guy spend on an engagement ring?

Mike: However much is suitable. This is all up to the couple themselves and their priorities. There is no hard number. I think the “3 months of salary” thing is a last resort if you can’t figure out an appropriate ring, then it’s time to just throw money at it (if you’re inclined to do so).

Peter:As someone who isn’t a firm believer that marriage is particularly relevant these days, this is a tough one to answer.  I don’t think there is some magic formula, or that the more money spent equates to more love. It should be something that the guy can afford without jeopardising their future purchases/expenses (thousands of dollars can be used for a lot of other things a newlywed couple need!)

Nick: 3 months salary? However, I’m not sure if that number is valid. Is that net salary? I look at my monthly net salary and there’s no way I’d spend 3 months salary on an engagement ring. If you’re earning $50,000, then 3 months is probably right. I’d say $5000-$10,000 in general. (Amy says: Yep I agree with that budget. You can get some pretty sparkly things.)

Amy: This is one ‘tradition’ I could forgo. I’m pretty sure it was something Tiffany’s made up so we could justify forking over such a lump sum to buy a shiny overpriced thing. If I could choose between an expensive engagement ring and a deposit to a home or say a 5 week holiday touring the Greek Islands, I’d definitely choose the latter and opt for less expensive but equally sparkly ring. For me an engagement ring is just an accessory, not one I plan on wearing everyday.

 2. Should girls buy something for the guy in return?

 Mike: It isn’t a norm, but why not?

Peter: If they feel like they want to, and it’s meaningful. She should feel pressured to, though.  I’d like to think the ring is supposed to be a romantic gesture rather than a trade item.  As a guy, I certainly wouldn’t expect it – but I’d definitely accept a pinball machine for the Man Cave.

Nick: That’s not something I’ve ever thought about. But it’d be a nice gesture…not expected though.

Amy: Yes! Like a nice watch.  

3. IF the engagement gets broken off, who keeps the ring?

Mike: The ring should be given back to the guy, regardless of what he might say. Again, this depends on the type of girl you are and maybe you’d love to sell it to make some money.

Peter: As someone who isn’t a firm believer that marriage is particularly relevant these days, this is a tough one to answer.  I don’t think there is some magic formula, or that the more money spent equates to more love. It should be something that the guy can afford without jeopardising their future purchases/expenses (thousands of dollars can be used for a lot of other things a newlywed couple need!)

Nick: If the woman breaks it off, she has to give it back. If the guy breaks it up, it’s up to the girl to decide. I think of it as a deposit. You put money down to lock a purchase or investment, if you fail to commit, you lose part of that deposit. 

Amy: I think it should always be returned unless the guy happened to leave the lady in a financial strain. Then it should be pawned off.

4. Do you think it’s un-romantic if a girl proposes to a guy?

Mike: Not at all!

Peter: Not at all!  If either party feels the time is right to express their love that way, then they should go for it.  Though I’m not sure if the guy is still expected to buy a ring in that case.

Nick: Nope. I would love it if a women proposed to me. Apparently, according to tradition, 29 Feb is the day that women can legitimently propose to a man on the basis she wear a red petticoat to ‘warn him’. February 29 is on a leap year which means it could only happen every couple of years anyway. 

Amy: When Monica proposed to Chandler on friends….I was disappointed. 

Photo Credit: Kim Coleman