Why He Stopped Calling You
More often than not, silence is deafening. This is especially relevant when you’ve been seeing a guy for a few weeks and then out of nowhere he drops off like your Vodafone reception with no explanation and no apology. You’re left wondering why he stopped calling you.
We did a quick informal survey (we asked 3 guys) and all of them admitted that they just wanted to avoid hurting the girls’ feelings. If you haven’t heard from your man in awhile, there’s a good chance he is sparing you from the common break up lines that don’t mean anything.
General excuses men give when they want out (as told by a guy)
- I’m moving overseas.
- I don’t want to be in a relationship right now.
- I just want to focus on work (or anything really, eg uni, yoga, painting blah blah) right now.
- I thought we wanted different things.
- I just want to be selfish right now.
It’s not you it’s me is the definitive one and you’re likely to hear variations of it. They allow the man to take the blame without putting unnecessary stress on the female. Why would a man do this? Why wouldn’t he just tell a woman why he wants out? “It’s not because we’re cowards. It’s not because she will go crazy or because she will hate me for it. It’s because she might get upset and feel sad”, says Adam. In essence, even though he doesn’t want this person in his life anymore because she’s no longer attractive to him, too controlling, too emotional etc…, he still doesn’t want to hurt anyone. Blaming himself is the best way to avoid this.
All of these excuses alone could leave a woman mystified. But if he’s said any of the above to you, it’s likely that he’s just sparing you from the truth. If you’re still really confused, go back to this: actions speak louder than words. So if he says something like ‘you deserve to be with someone who is xxx’ and isn’t trying to be that person, then he’s just giving you fluff.
Our advice, if you come across any of these lines, it’s just best to move on. You don’t want a flake in a relationship, flake is only good in chocolate form.
If you ask me, what the dating world needs is feedback forms. We rate restaurants, our test results, work performance so why not our relationships? I’d love to know how I can be a better partner/lover post break up. Thoughts?
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