In the time I’ve been single, I’ve come across many single men and women who think life would be so much better if they met the right person. They think everything will fall into place once they meet ‘the one’, make $xxxx dollars, buy a home and have 2.5 children. Instead of building their ideal life on their own, they’ll wait for a man/woman to come along and help them achieve their goals. The issue with this idea is that in waiting for something ‘better’ to come along, you’re creating a perceived void. The one thing single people should do is create a relationship with yourself.
I’m not anti-marriage though lately I have been questioning the tradition. If divorce rates can tell you anything, it’s that marriage may not give you eternal happiness. Nonetheless what is fact is that nothing in life is a guarantee, which is why the most relationship you can have is with yourself. There is nothing more empowering than knowing that you can achieve a state of happiness all on your own.
“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth. Only you can be responsible for that” – Stacey Charter
Being in a fulfilling relationship is a great thing but you’re less likely to have a healthy relationship if you don’t have a good relationship with yourself. How you treat yourself translates into your relationships and so often people who are overly jealous, possessive and insecure will project those feelings into their relationship.
Whether they’re in their 20s or 30s, I see single people waiting to meet someone so life can get better. I’m no life expert but I can personally tell you that being single is so much more fun when you let go of the idea of finding someone and just live life. Being in a relationship takes time and effort, so whilst you have time alone, enjoy it. Be selfish. Do things you love. If you don’t know what you love, go out and find it.
Need some inspiration? Here ya go!
5 Things to Do When Single
Do Some Bodywork
There is so much time for yoga, working out, dancing when you have all this time to yourself. Not only are you doing good for your health, you’re also toning up and shedding a few kilos, which could be a great confidence boost. A better bod? I’d say yes to that.
Pick a place, grab a bag and go. You never know what or who you’ll find overseas.
Take Up a Hobby or Two
When I was newly single, I didn’t know what to do with all the extra free time. And so I enrolled in everything from photography, Japanese lessons to swing dancing. From trying new things, I’ve discovered my passion for dance. I’m seriously hooked now.
Make New Friends
Yep. Meet new girlfriends, embrace platonic relationships…you can hang out with whomever you want, anytime you want. When you’re single, you tend to be more open to the idea of making new friends and meeting new people. There’s no stopping you now so grab those numbers/Facebook friends.
One of my favourite things to do (or not do). Having some ‘me’ time is an absolute indulgence for me. Whether it be watching re-runs of Friends, cooking or writing, it’s a time where I don’t have to consider anyone else. It’s when I can just clear my thoughts and think about all the things I want to achieve. I have a list of goals I want to achieve and having that alone time helps me evaluate where I am in the timeline I’ve set for myself.
Life shouldn’t start once you’ve met someone. It should just start now. Live in the present not for the future. Let us know how you go. x
Photo Credit: Daniele Martinie
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Iona is a Wellness Coach specialising in relationships and dating. She works with single women to write their own love stories.