Do Cultural Differences Matter in Dating?
It all started when my colleague suggested I start dating Asian men. Asian men she said, were more committed in their relationships. She then continued to explain how she thought they were better boyfriends and more chivalrous (I think this has more to do with upbringing then culture). Are certain cultures more committed to their relationships then others? With the divorce rate almost at 50%, I know for a fact that this isn’t true but what she said really stuck with me. Do cultural differences matter in dating?
- We live in a melting pot of ethnicities. Has cultural differences ever affected the way you date? i.e. Do you have a more conservative approach when it comes to certain cultures?
Mark: Personally I think while culture does play a role, it’s personality. Some people are direct, some people are princesses and that’s the same everywhere. I don’t really alter my game according to the culture but what type of person I think they are. I think that culture stuff is overrated. If a girl likes you, she likes you and she’ll overcome cultural barriers.
Celeste: No, I’ve dated people from almost every cultural background and my approach never changes. If I did, I would be changing myself.
Nick: Um…I would say I don’t change who I am for anyone. If you don’t like me, then go away. The only thing I change/adjust is if someone doesn’t drink.
2. Do you think people who come from similar cultures stay together longer?
Mark: That’s hard to say – we can say Korean guys like beating their women but the culture makes divorce look bad. Divorce is forbidden in the Philippines. I think like attracts like but I’m not sure if it’s the culture or the personality. It’s a grey line.
Celeste: Not necessarily but it really helps you connect over the little things like special dates, restaurants, language. But, you can have someone who understands all that and have zero chemistry with them.
Nick: Relationships are challenging regardless of where you come from but I think people who come from the same culture have a better understanding of each other but relationships are hard in general. If you can pick someone from a different culture but with the same temperament might work.
3. I’ve dated people from different cultural backgrounds and find that Italian men tend to be very chivalrous when it comes to dating. Have you noticed a pattern with the people you’ve dated?
Mark: I love my Asians so I can’t comment.
Celeste: I can comment on this! I’m not sure if this is norm but I have many Asian friends. In their circle, there is no such thing as dating. If you like someone and they like you back then it’s on – you have a girlfriend/boyfriend. I find guys who are really westernised are genereally quite non-commital and will ‘date’ or ‘see’ you until you decide to have the ‘talk’ about your relationship. European men tend to be the most romantic.
Nick: There are certain differences – I think think of several examples for all nationalities. Italian women tend to be passionate, South Americans are passionate and outgoing and Asian women I’ve found can be submissive.
4. There’s no doubt that interracial marriage is on the rise. What are your thoughts on this?
Mark: I think it is fine. Again, culture plays a role but only a small role.
Celeste: Why not? It’s so common anyway. I do think it’s important to maintain both cultures though.
Nick: I’m kind of indifferent to it because it’s not something I think about.
5. It’s said that when you date someone, you’re potentially dating their family too. Has family ever interfered with your love life?
Mark: If the family doesn’t approve and the girl/guy listens, the it won’t work. If a girl gives me shit and her response is ‘that’s my culture’ – I’d definitely be glad I’m not marrying her. People hide behind that.
Celeste: No never but if they did, it’d put a strain on the relationship no matter how much you tell yourself that it doesn’t matter.
Nick: Only in long term relationship but it didn’t have much to the cultural difference.
Photo Credit: Guian Bolisay
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