You Asked. We Answered. Your Dating Questions

We get dating questions from readers all the time and many of them are variations of the one below. And so we asked our guy panel.

Lee: I’ve been seeing a man regularly for almost 2 months, and it’s been awesome! We spent the last couple weekends and last weekend was very intense and emotional with him saying “I love you”. I feel the same way, and we talked and it was romantic and fun and lovely. He kept saying he was scared though. He said he was excited, scared to death and happy. He’s had a lot of girlfriends over the years, never been married, but did ask one gal to marry him and she said no. He said he wants me to help him get over his fear – that he doesn’t want to run away. I think he’s sincere, but also worried he may be a commitment phobe. Thoughts?

Adam: It sounds like he likes you. Guys don’t really do those things or utter those words if they don’t like you. Being rejected from a marriage proposal is traumatic. He’s probably scared you won’t like him back. People are afraid of the unknown, which is why he probably why he is frozen. 

Tim: He sounds really needy and emotional. Did he actually say he was ‘scared’? I would probably take a step back and take things slowly. 

Will: He’s clearly not a commitment phobe if he has had a serious relationship that’s led to the possibility of marriage. Though, it does seem like he declared his love for you and then that declaration came with a list of conditions. When someone likes you they’ll just go with it. 

Mike: Guys aren’t commitment phobes at heart. They tell women that because they are afraid of commitment to the wrong person. When they tell you they’re not ready for a girlfriend or that they’re afraid of getting hurt, it’s just to buy time so they can figure out if you’re girlfriend material. 

Our Collective Girl Thought: Ok, so by now you’ve consulted all of your girlfriends about this and we know you probably don’t want to hear what we have to say but in case you do – if you like him just go with it and give him space to work it out. 2 months is not a very long time to get to know someone. People usually show their good and bad side by month 3. Take the time to see whether he’s sincere about his words. Pay attention to what he does not what he says and don’t overthink it.

Photo Credit: Stefano Bertolotti