What I’d Tell My 23 Year Old Self

Words by Mark

When I was young, I didn’t have a girlfriend so I was really into video games (now that I think about it, that probably fed a vicious cycle). Specifically, I was into a video game called “Resident Evil”, before those Hollywood bastards turned it into a shitty movie franchise. The game takes a long ass time to finish, as you need to play out an entire story. The game records how long it takes you to finish so the first time I finished the game, it had taken me 34 hours (again, Mark has no girlfriend). Then I heard that if you finish the game under 3 hours, you can unlock special characters. Fuelled by that determination, I spent my entire summer holiday locked in my basement playing this game. Eventually, I could finish the game in under 3 hours. I could finish that game in my sleep – what was once something ridiculously hard is now easy. 

Tomorrow, I turn 33. Good Lord, Patrick Ewing #33. I’m getting older but I also feel that I’m getting wiser. Just like when I turned 32, here are some observations I’ve made about life at 33 – what I’d tell my 23 year old self. 

Getting Old is a Paradox – We like to laugh at our parents and old people for being so out of touch with reality but slowly, we’re actually also getting out of touch with the reality of today’s kids. The fear of being out of touch drives a person to try harder to know what young people do these days but ironically, the fact that an older guy is trying to stay relevant is what makes them look pathetic. If you stay in your own generation, you fall out of touch with the younger generation and you’re just that angry man muttering under your breath on the bus. How do you win in this game? Who cares? You’re old. 

Keeping fit vs being athletic – I hate playing basketball with younger guys because their youth reminds me of what I once was. These kids are enjoying their athleticism because their body doesn’t have a lot of mileage yet and they don’t have a real job that punishes them mentally and physically. Once the pangs of reality kick in, they’ll be just like you – huffing and puffing their way around the court for the sake of “keeping fit”. Keeping fit as you grow older is tricky – on one hand, it’s become even more important to get your exercise but at the same time, it’s easier for you to get injured so you can’t go that hard. At this point, I’m willing to trade in my potential years of athleticism for a lifetime of injury free knees/backs/ etc. Let’s put this car on cruise control. 

Numbers no longer make sense – The things that mattered to you so much in your twenties start losing its appeal. I don’t know about other guys but when I was younger, I used to know exactly how many girls I slept with. There was a running count in my head. Now that I’m older, you start thinking…who cares? What’s the point? The same goes with salaries: maybe I’m an anomaly in Hong Kong but I really don’t give two shits about how much people make. Who cares? I also suspect that when I was teaching in Beijing, I met so many ridiculously wealthy people that money stopped making sense. What’s the difference between 60 mill and 66 mill? I wouldn’t know since I can’t count pass a mill. 

Knowing the ways of the world – Being an adult is like joining a club that you don’t know you signed up for. Ever notice that all directors and older managers think the same? You just start gaining knowledge about the world and people. It’s not skill – it’s knowledge. Again, as comedian Louis CK says – young people can never be smarter than older people just because older have done more shit in their lives. 

Knowing bad makes you want to be good – My friend with an old soul once told me something that I think about all the time: “the skills of the youth will always lose to the treachery of old men” When you understand how this world actually works, you’d want to throw the rules you learned out the window. I’m always amazed at the games we are willing to play: You read the newspaper, the economist, the internet and you just read about important people behaving badly. You’re thinking: am I the only one thinking this guy’s lying? 
When you were young, you were good because you were told to be good – now that you’re older, you want to be good because you’ve seen what bad really is. 

There’s nothing but good news in your life: I see a bunch of my friends on Facebook writing about what they’re grateful for – it’s interesting that no one really talks about being grateful for ex-girlfriends, bad bosses, arch-enemies, etc for making them who they are today. I see girls I used to date on Facebook get married and change their status and I always wonder how it would have been like to be living that life. Then I realize that it would mean that I probably wouldn’t have had this life I’m living now: going to Beijing, living a new life, starting a new career, etc. You are exactly where you’re supposed to be. You’re not dead so be grateful for all you have. Simple as that. 

That’s all this old man’s got to say.