Guys on Dating Apps – What Makes Them Swipe Right
Topless selfies, drunken pics taken at 3am and poor grammar are some of the reasons why women swipe left or click ‘x’ on a dating app but do guys hold the same set of standards? We asked a few guys who have tried a dating app or two, to get some insight on guys on dating apps. What makes them swipe right? When should you meet him? ….
Do you think dating apps have changed the way women date? i.e. are they more likely to initiate the pursuit?
Nathan: No. It’s made them feel more desirable because she is likely to have more suitors, but less likely to pursue because the onus is on the guys because of all the increased competition.
Chris: I think it’s an ego boost for girls. They get a whole bunch of guys (strangers) vying for their attention. The world is their oyster…though if they’re looking for more than just a hookup, it’s always going to be quality over quantity and that’s hard to find in real life and online.
2. What are some online dating deal breakers?
Nathan: Pictures. Pictures of kids. Pictures of you at your wedding. Pictures of you kissing an ex.
Chris: Trashy photos, group photos (which one are you!) and women who can’t spell
3. When do you decide to meet them?
Nathan: Depends a bit on the girl. When she’s more comfortable, because there’s usually more options for her. Ideally around 2 or 3 days after first message. I don’t like to message too much because message interaction isn’t an indication of what you’ll be like in person and can be a false indicator either way. Things like tonality and body language aren’t conveyed.
Chris: I have a one week rule. You can’t along great with people over text and phone but real life meetings can be a hit or miss. Make sure you plan to meet up a week after chatting.
4. Many people use dating apps for short flings and hook ups but some do find something more. What’s the different between the girl you date vs. the girl you hook up with?
Nathan: I think it’s more the type of person looking than who they’re looking at. Some guys will say they’re looking for a relationship but are really looking to get a hookup. I think it can just be a looks thing sometimes. Guys can decide a girl is good looking enough for a fling but not a girl they want to show to their friends. i.e. not a long term thing, whether it be looks or personality.
Chris: It depends on where I’m at in life. If I’m not looking for a relationship, the perfect woman can walk into my life and I probably wouldn’t even recognise her.
5. When was the last time a girl impressed you? And how did she do it?
Nathan: Hard one, I guess when a girl takes the initiative.
Chris: She called me out on being a flaky asshole.
Tips for Better Matches
– No one appreciates false advertising. You may love that one pick you took from 2002 but that can set unrealistic expectations
– Have something to say. Including a one-liner in your profile can give someone a bit more insight to your personality
-Be creative to make an impression. Most start a conversation with a ‘hey how are you’… make your words count
– Avoid group photos as your main profile image – it’s confusing
– Leave the party pics on your Facebook feed…unless a party is all you’re looking for
What's Your Reaction?
Iona is a Wellness Coach specialising in relationships and dating. She works with single women to write their own love stories.