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To Be Single or a Step Mum?

To Be Single or a Step Mum?


By: Lauren Bell


Twenty-eight and single. Bet you didn’t think you would be here… It is a weird age to be single. Most of my friends have children, the others are single, and some are both.

For us childless women in our late twenties and early thirties it appears that our options have been significantly narrowed. Step-mum or single, ladies!

Swipe through Tinder (ugh) at any opportunity and the number of guys posing with tigers is far outweighed by guys posing with their children. The chance of you dating a single dad these days has exceptionally grown as the presence of fathers have grown in their children’s lives.

So what is a single, employed woman to do? You could have a wonderful guy and an instant family or you could have a life of pets, girlfriends, and a vegetable patch on a large country property as you write your fifth best seller…I appear to be getting ahead of myself.

I have nothing against dating a dude with kids. All kids are cute and you don’t have the responsibility of making tough decisions. My concern is the role of being stepmother. This topic I know. In my life I had three step mothers. (Well done, dad.) Let’s just say I was not the greatest step child. I yelled, I screamed, I told his wives ‘he would always love my sister and me more’, clearly not my finest hour even if it did turn out to be true.

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The connotation of step mother is also not the best. Just look at fairy tales and fiction. Snow White’s poisoned her with an apple, Cinderella’s kept her as a slave, they either hate children or believe their own are far superior. And if you have kids you need to form some kind of uber-family army. I don’t want to even imagine how hard it would be to merge a family. I am currently a parent of two fish and a pot plant of parsley and I probably couldn’t even make that work with a partner.

I have to say I am one of those women who loves being single. No texts interrupting you whilst you complete work or study. No having to check with someone about weekend plans. Cooking for one person without complaints of the taste of the food or why is doesn’t contain more meat. Sometimes I honestly day- dream of being single forever like Diane Keaton in ‘Something’s Gotta Give’ or Meryl Streep in ‘It’s Complicated’, but here’s the thing in the end they still end up in relationships and they also have children.

I chose single! So I guess for now the cheese literally stands alone. Guy with dogs as an option on the other hand…

Photo Credit: Brandon Morgan 

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