Why Relationships Happen in 3s

They may say that all bad things come in 3s but where relationships are concerned, 3 may just take your relationship up a notch. Now there are no set ‘rules’ when it comes to dating but 3 seems to be a common number to prompt a change in relationship dynamics. What happens after three days of texting, three dates, three months of dating or three years of dating. Singles and daters tell us.

After Three Days of Texting

Iona: 3 days of texting is meant to be the general rule before you meet in person or… so I hear. But it makes sense. By then you get an idea of their routine, sense of humour and if you guys have anything in common. But all of the witty banter can be a waste of time when you meet and find you have as much chemistry as Channing Tatum and his on screen love interests. 3 days is a good amount of time to put in.

Nate: After 3 dates of texting – I guess I’ll get to see if she’s interesting enough to talk to and have enough to say to carry a conversation. It also gives me a chance to gauge their neediness. Like if I don’t text back within an hour…do they freak out?

I usually like to go out on weekends so there are usually a few dates between texting and a first date. If a girl was eager to go on a date after a few texts, I’d wonder how many other guys she was seeing.

Momentum matters in the beginning, if it’s been 1-2 weeks and we still haven’t organised a date, I’d probably stop pursuing her.

After Three Dates

Iona: There is this expectation that the third date is the one where you sleep with the other person. It puts so much pressure on all parties involved. By the third date, I usually know if we’re compatible and whether there’s potential for a relationship.

Nate: By three dates, I can usually tell if we have something that’ll last long term, otherwise this is when I usually just break it off. It’s also gives you enough time to know if your online chemistry translates in person.

After Three Months of Dating

Iona: I’ll usually know if a relationship will last after three months of dating. By then you get an idea of the guy’s best and worst sides. You’ll know a person’s quirks and the things that could potentially irritate you but don’t because all their good qualities outweigh the not so good ones. If I like the person, I’ll stop seeing other people by the 3 month mark.

Nate: I can tell if it’s someone I will want to marry. Around 6-8 dates, I’ll see if I’d want to be exclusive but of course I’d never pressure her into it. If they haven’t decided to be exclusive with me after 3 months, I’d be questioning why.

After Three Years of Dating

Iona: You’ve seen it all, met the family and will probably be thinking about marriage and kids. I think by three years of dating, you would have hit a few ‘ruts’ in the relationship. Petition and routine will do that to you. But if you can find ways to break through it and strengthen your relationship, the relationship will have better chances of going the distance. By three years, you should know whether or not you see yourself with this person in the long term. Now that I’m in my 30s I see people meet, date for a few months and get engaged in 6-8 months. When you’ve hit that stage in your life, you know what you want.

Nate: Hopefully propose?

Stepping stones in relationships happen in 3s but if it’s not happening for you, it doesn’t matter. Every relationship is different.

Photo Credit: Julia Ceasar