5 False Expectations You Might Have From Tinder

Don’t shoot the messenger but this post is written on behalf of my guy friends who are exasperated from unmet expectations on Tinder. If you’re doing any of the things mentioned, it might be time to adjust your attitude and give the guys a break.

Expectation 1: The Man Should Text First

Eddy the English Guy: Most women complain that they get many matches but that few guys ever initiate conversation. Just like in real life, there’s the assumption that men should be the hunters. But for them to pursue you, you have to put in the work too to show them you’re worth the time. It goes both ways so once in a while, make the first move and say hi.
What to Do: A simple hello will set you apart from all the girls who are waiting to be texted. If you have a killer opening line, it’s a bonus. We’ll just be happy you arrived.

Expectation 2: The Opening Line Needs to Be Creative and Funny

Benjamin the Awkward Guy: When you meet someone organically, a simple hello can do wonders but try the same thing with Tinder and the guy is perceived as boring. As the guys put it: “We are not all stand-up comedians. It’s exhausting that we need to be funny, appropriate and engaging. And if it’s for someone we haven’t even met in person…it’s just hard work”.
What to Do: Don’t dismiss a guy whose opening line is a simple ‘hi’. You might be missing out.

Expectation 3: You’ll Find Mr.Perfect on Tinder

Jonathan: You won’t find Mr.Perfect on Tinder. In fact, you won’t find him anywhere. We’re going to make mistakes and be a dickhead once in awhile. So whilst we may have all the qualities you’re looking for, we’ll also have some you’re not looking for. Accept us for who we are. We’ll do the same for you. And on that topic – you may be looking for Mr.Perfect but are you Mrs.Perfect?
What to Do: If you’re looking for Mr.Perfect, be the type of person you want to meet.

Expectation 4: We All Want Sex

Eddy the English Guy: Hey we’ll take it where we can get it but not all of us are looking for a quick hook up. There are girls we date and girls we ‘have fun’ with. But I think all guys want a commitment at some point. If sex isn’t what you want – say so in your profile. I encountered a profile a few weeks ago which put it nicely. It read something along the lines of:
“An American expat looking to meet someone adventurous and easy going. I’m not looking for a hook up so if that’s what you want then I won’t waste your time”

It’s straight to the point and sincere.

Nick: Yes. Women have their defence mechanisms up automatically because they assume guys will there for a hook up or to send dick pics.

Expectation 5: That We Love the Thrill of the Chase

Nick: I don’t love it but I don’t mind chasing a girl who is sincerely interested in me. So many girls go on Tinder just to get attention or to boost their Instagram account. I never spend time chasing those girls. If you’re genuinely interested in us, let us know…even if it’s in subtle ways. Don’t take days to reply to us and when we have a date scheduled, show up. You’d be surprised by how many girls cancel…more than once.

What Makes Guys Swipe Right

It’s different for every guy…

Eddy the English Guy: The first photo should show off your best features. Most blokes don’t read the profile.

Nick: I read every profile

Eddy the English Guy: Get rid of all your images where there’s another person in it. Unless you’re the hotter one in the picture

Benjamin:Don’t make me play “Where’s Waldo” (endless group shots)

Nick: Have photos that show you’re interesting

Eddy the English Guy: Clevage is always a good thing

Benjamin:Don’t have more than 1 pic of your pets, kids, holiday photos, or that cute picture you like so much. And if you must, put it at the end.

Nick: Have pictures that don’t look like they’ve been photoshopped. You can’t photoshop your face in person, don’t photoshop the pictures

Benjamin: Do show at least one full or near full body shot.

Benjamin: It’s online dating. One word answers aren’t going to work.

Carlos the Tall Guy: We don’t ask you how much you weigh. Don’t ask us about out height

Benjamin:Do give me some idea of who you are. Attractive is good, but I want to know a bit about you. Show photos that reflect you and your interests. I’ll always read the text before I swipe right – put something in there, even if it’s just one sentence. Photo Credit: Jake Melara