When To Change Someone or and When To Accept Their Flaws

So if you’ve read the story about Mr.Perfect (and his imperfect life), you’ll know that we don’t knock flaws at 30everafter. But, when should you accept them for what they are vs when you should try to change them for good? Writer Karla Wong shared her thoughts.

We’re all flawed. There is no such thing as the perfect person – perfect mother, father, girlfriend or boyfriend, unicorns. Ok, who are we kidding, Unicorns on paper are pretty damn flawless.

But here’s the thing, is it right to try and change ones flaws? Or should you accept that person flaws and all? And even if you’re all flawed up, does that make you completely incompatible with someone? May it be friends, partners or parents?

Change of flaws vs. Acceptance of flaws.

Flaws basically make a person. It is part of who they are; it’s their personality, their state of mind and their being.

I’m all for change. I love it, and it’s the only way you keep growing.- you can’t stay the same person you were 10 years ago. And yes, sometimes realizing your flaws and trying to fix that wrong is part of change. Sometimes you realize it yourself, other times you need a push from someone to see it. Despite that, you change, or you will yourself to – for the better, to be a better version of you. Y’know?

On the other hand, there are some who say flaws are ok. It’s who you are, you don’t need to change and you should be accepted, imperfections and all. Which I’m not going to deny is great. It really is – to be with someone who accepts you for who you are. I was in a relationship like that and it was content. Knowing the type of person I am, I didn’t change. I didn’t grow.

So is it ok to try to change a persons flaws when it also means changing who they are? Maybe not a 180 personality flip, but you will be changing a part of who they are.

I’m riddled with flaws, I’m just flat out saying. It’s like my second skin. But like skin, that goes through cycles of shedding and regrowth flaws are just another layer of a person. You can shed and regrow – the only difference is, you can choose to shed your flaws.

Let’s take flaws into the realm of relationships (like it hasn’t already). Do flaws reflect our incompatibility with our partners? When one part of a person doesn’t align with your ideas, morals, values, whatever – is it a sign of incompatibility? Do you bring it up in hopes that they’d change? Or do flaws in actuality make relationships stronger because you’re able to work around it, compromise and support.

In every relationship you pick and choose your battles. The smart ones fight for issues that really matter to them and potentially the relationship or the future of it, and the dumb ones make every step in the relationship a battle.

And when it comes to flaws chose which flaws you want to fight against, and which you’d rather work with. Because they are part of the person who you choose to be with, their flaws and perfections are what drew you to them in the first place (after appearances).

See their flaws, but never let the flaws overshadow your vision of their best.