What to Do the Next Time He Cancels Your Date…Again

If you hate confrontation or find it difficult to express how you feel when a guy cancels a date on you again, read on. Because this is a conversation that comes up all the time with the women I chat to. And I really want to address this because often we know exactly what we want and yet, we are hesitant to bring it up for fear that we may come off too pushy, too bitchy, too needy….etc. This conversation has to stop because you should feel empower to own up to what you want – without being a ‘bitch’.

Sometimes awkward relationships scenarios come up and we’re afraid that if we express how we really feel, we’ll push men away. And so we come up with some vague diluted (often confusing) version of what we want – and ultimately deprive ourselves of the very things we want. Here’s what you can do the next time your date cancels on you.

When He Breaks Your Plans Last Minute…Again 

Let’s say you had a hot date planned Saturday night and on the Saturday afternoon, he texts to tell you he’s nursing a hangover and not up for your date as planned. He promises to make it up to you (dismissing the fact that this is the third time he’s bailed on you at the very last minute). You want to be the understanding cool chick and so you text him something along the lines of ‘no worries’. The cycle repeats.

When this happened in the past I used to blame it on the flaky men I was meeting until I realised I was enabling the behaviour with my indifferent reactions. Even though I was frustrated, I’d let it go in fear that if I told them how I felt, I’d be that ‘crazy, uptight girl’ they’d tell their friends about. What I completely missed was that we show people how we wanted to be treated by the way we treat ourselves. Every time we accept bad behaviour, every time we continue to let it happen, we are showing people how we want to be treated.

I don’t know about you but there are about a gazillion ways I’d happily spend my Saturday night and it requires some planning. When someone breaks plans on me ‘just because’, it shows they don’t value my time. That is not ok.

If you don’t let a guy know you value your time and could have made other fun plans, he will think it’s acceptable to cancel on you at the last minute. So how do you tell him to knock it off in the most attractive way?

1. Use the Friendship Benchmark

To check if your expectations are realistic, use the friendship benchmark. If a friend were to cancel on you for the same reasons your date had, would you call them out on it? i.e. If a friend cancelled because they had to help their family in an emergency, it’s reasonable to cancel. If they cancelled because they’d rather go to the beach with friends – not  okay. If you wouldn’t let it go with a friend, don’t let it go with a date.

2. Honesty is the Best Policy

Honesty is the best policy…so long as the delivery comes from a good place. The next time a date cancels on you, you could say something along the lines of “Hey, sorry to hear you can’t make it. I understand but I also value my time. If you can’t make it next time, can you let me know so I can make other plans?”. This shows you care about him but that you also have a life and value your time.

FREE download: Attraction Mindset Mini Course

3. Don’t Let It Go On

Life happens. So if he cancels on you once or twice, that’s fine. But anymore than that is a sign of someone who is either unreliable or doesn’t value you or your time. Would you want to be in a relationship with a guy like that anyway?

Like this article? Pin in

Photo: Christopher Campbell