I confess – if you were to spend most week nights with me, I am no fun. I sit in front of my laptop, tune out the background noise and write. I don’t speak whilst I’m doing this so the only thing you’d hear from me is the sound of the keyboard. But my husband-to-be is fine with this 95% of the time – and it’s one of the many reasons I’m marrying him. Where so many partners would call me a workaholic and an absent partner, Cristian knows that it’s my absolute dream to take 30everafter to a whole new level.
Maybe you’re looking to quit your job to start another career, maybe you’re looking to run your first 5k run, maybe you’ve been working 12-14 hour days and just want someone to listen to you vent/cry at the end of the day – those are the times you need the most support. If your boyfriend/girlfriend does any of the below – they are definitely a keeper!
They support your dreams
Dreams do come true but it’s not without some persistence and effort. The right partner knows this. They make room for your dreams.
In our tiny home, we’ve turned our second bedroom into a study where I can do my work and most week nights, Cristian cooks to give me more time on my laptop so I can write articles like this. I’m not sharing this to brag – just to show you that relationships (though not perfect) like this exist.
They listen with no judgement
You know you’ve found a best friend when you can share how you really feel without judgement. Most recently, a friend told me she made $500,000+ selling her 1 year old business. Though I was SO happy for her and knew she deserved it, I couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. I was afraid to admit these feelings to anyone in fear I’d sound like a bitch. But when I told Cristian, he genuinely understood the intention of my feelings. It wasn’t that I was unhappy for my friend, I was unhappy about the situation because I hadn’t reach the level of success I wanted. A partner should love you for who you are – not for your potential but at this moment. You should be able to tell your partner anything – without the fear of judgement.
They make sure your needs are met
The good ones will never let you go hangry. I have a girlfriend whose boyfriend has been working 12-14 hour days at his new job. Last week, she won girlfriend of the year (in my books at least) when she lined up for an hour (on her own) to buy a piece of Uncle Tetsu cheesecake and deliver it to her boyfriend’s work.
It was such a simple gesture but they are the ones that count the most.
I’ve used a few examples above from my own relationship, not to brag but to show what is possible when you find a relationship that works. And I have to say, no relationship is perfect but you can keep refining it. I tend to think of relationships like they’re a bank account. The more you invest in it, the more it grows.
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Iona is a Wellness Coach specialising in relationships and dating. She works with single women to write their own love stories.