The Male Bashing Has GOT To Stop

When it comes to dating, the men I speak to don’t have it easy. Not only do they have the pressure of asking a girl out [yes, even if it’s done online – the fear of rejection is still real], they then have to convince them that they’re not like the other ‘dickheads’ she’s dated before. They feel like they’re being punished for things other men have done – and I don’t blame them.

This is a typical dialogue I hear from single women I speak to:

“Men are scared of commitment”

“All men cheat”

“Men are selfish”

“All men are jerks”

“The men on Tinder are crap”

They may not mean it but based on what I hear, they hate men. And it’s ironic because the very thing they hate (men) is the thing they crave (men).

If you want a great relationship with men, you need to love them – regardless of what a few have done in the past. Here’s how I see it:

Men Aren’t Scared of Commitment

Contrary to what you may think, men aren’t scared of commitment. They’re scared of committing to the wrong woman. The reason they tend to settle down later is because time is on their side. Without the pressure of having babies, they have time to work on their career and get their ducks in a row before popping the big question. 95% of men I speak to would like to meet someone to share a life with – they’re just waiting for the right woman to come along.

If you have a tendency to attract non-committal men, investigate why. I went through a phase where every guy I dated just ‘wanted to have fun’. I had no idea why they were coming into my life when I wanted a relationship. Turns out, I actually wasn’t ready for a relationship – I was hung up over my ex and didn’t want to let go of the past. And so I’d date non-committal men so I wouldn’t have to.

All Men Cheat

According to Infidelity Investigators, women cheat just as men do. And it’s not just married women and men, it’s people in newly established relationships, couples who just met online and those engaged and are about to get married. If you’ve been cheated on before, it’s perfectly normal to have hesitations when it comes to trust. But as I said before, not all men are cut from the same cloth.

The Men On Tinder are Crap

Tinder did not pay me to say this –  I have actually met plenty of couples who’ve either met on Tinder or a similar dating app. If you’ve been following my blog for awhile, you’ll know I met my husband-to-be on Happn. Ok so I’m not saying there aren’t some duds out there but with the right dating profile and the knowledge to filter, you can absolutely meet a man who is aligned with your values. Tip: spend time to work on your profile. The quality of your images and description is directly aligned to the kind of men who will approach you. I’ve seen this happen so many times to the women I work with. The dating app or the match making service doesn’t decide which men come into your life – YOU do. You have the power to write your own love story.

Photo: John Sting