To the women who give men a hard time because they’ve said ‘hello’

This one is for the ladies who un match or reject men after you’ve both expressed mutual interest online and he makes his first move with a message that says ‘hey’ or ‘hi, how’s it going?’.

I know it’s not a message with the most originality but we really need to cut these guys a bit of slack. Here’s why:

Men are not all poets and copywriters

Everyone has a mode of communication that works for them and so someone’s sense of humour or charisma may not translate so well with words if they struggle with writing copy: “We are not all writers and poets…and we don’t want to cheat and use cheesy one-liners. So if we hit you with a hello, don’t chew our heads off”, says Darren, 32.

Are you giving men anything to work with?

One of my guy friends recently sent me a screenshot of a profile he came across which read:

‘Surely you can think of something more original than ‘hello’

With the minimal word limit this woman had to say something about herself, she chose those words. The issue I have with this is- it says nothing about her. Men are afraid of rejection too- can you imagine what those words are saying? 

“You will get rejected if your first message doesn’t entertain me”.

Similar to leaving your profile description blank, this kind of copy gives men nothing to work with when they approach you. It doesn’t say anything about your personality.

If you don’t show men who you are with the limited copy you have, how are they meant to come up with an interesting one-liner that doesn’t sound like it’s been copy and pasted?

You try being the guy

Rejection online may not be so bad compared to rejection in real life but it still takes effort for a guy to approach you. Maybe not every guy you meet on Tinder has the right intention and I bet there are a few who are just too lazy to come up with something creative to say. But then there is a small group of top quality guys who may have just started dabbling with online dating… the ones who may be really nice but haven’t figured out what to write in those first few messages. Have a little empathy and try approaching the guys and you may appreciate the ones who take initiative – even if it’s with a simple hello.

Next time you get on Tinder or Happn or any other dating app, you might want to consider giving men another chance….until their third message at least.

Via Unsplash Matthew Wiebe