By Jack Burke. Wellness Expert
Let’s be honest, even the most perfect relationships have their fair share of ups and downs. It’s not always easy to tell your man exactly what you’re thinking. You might not want to hurt their feelings, or you might be afraid they’re going to take it the wrong way. Either way, there are bound to be things you want to tell your guy, but feel like you can’t. Here are a few things you should get the courage to talk to him about:
“I wish you would communicate more”
Coming in at number one, communication skills are single handedly the most common catalyst to a relationship’s demise or its success. Many of us have been there. You try endlessly to talk about what’s bothering you, or what seems to be bothering your partner but get nothing in return. This can often result in one of you feeling alone or isolated in the relationship. The truth is, no matter how well you know or love each other, neither of you can read minds. Communication enables us to avoid misunderstandings that could cause hurt, anger or even resentment. Here are some ways to make communicating with your partner easier:
Make your message clear
Think about what you want to say before beginning the conversation
Be aware of your tone of voice
Except responsibility for your own feelings
Negotiate and remember you don’t have to be right all of the time.
If establishing healthy communication seems to be a problem you can not fix on your own, take time to consider talking with a relationship counsellor. Counsellors are trained to identify patterns in communication that may be the underlying cause of your issues.
“Your hair is getting thinner”
For many, the sight of their hair thinning is not only disappointing but embarrassing as well. This isn’t an easy subject to talk about, so it’s important to approach it in the correct fashion. Chances are your man already knows he’s losing his locks and probably feels like the fountain of youth is about to run out. Reassure him this is not the case. According to Medical Daily the majority of hair loss is caused by genetics. However this doesn’t mean it’s irreversible. The reality is that hair loss in men is generally caused by dihydrotestosterone (DHT). This is a male hormone that binds to receptors in your scalp causing the hair follicle to shrink, weaken and often die. When you talk to your man, be compassionate and understanding, let him know you still view him the same way you also have. Offer suggestions such as companies like Hims. They’re a great resource to connect him with the help he needs. He’ll be able to receive various hair loss solutions right to his door. Ultimately, at the end of the day your man’s body is his own, and he gets to make the choice. However, it’s important to remain supportive and always be open to talk openly.
“I think we should work on our intimacy”
Much like talking about your partner’s hair loss, communicating about intimacy can be just as difficult. The key to talking about sex is to keep the conversation blameless, there shouldn’t be any finger pointing. It’s a natural response to become defensive when faced with an uncomfortable topic. Make sure you don’t blind side your partner. Let them know you’d like to talk about intimacy and set aside a time. Have this conversation in a neutral area, not the bedroom or at bedtime. It’s important to have a “soft start” and outline the goals of the conversation. Talk about your expectations, fears, and desires, just be honest! Don’t be afraid to talk about what you like sexually and what you dislike. The comfort levels of both partners are important.
In some cases the problem may be medical. According to Webmd most men under forty experience erectile dysfunction (ED) in some way. The most Common cause of ED is poor circulation of blood, which can be a result of other health factors. It’s important to know that there are options for ED treatment. When ED is the topic of discussion, remember to not make your man feel like it’s his fault. Be compassionate and reassuring. This alone may even help treat his ED, do to stress and anxiety being high on the list of ED causes.
“It’s time to update your style”
When it comes to men’s fashion, the majority fall within two groups. The ones who do care about their outerwear and the ones who do not. Some men view their fashion as a way of expressing who they are, It’s a show of individuality. They pay close attention to the colors and brands they dawn, and don’t care for the opinions of others. If this is the case with your partner, attempts to change this are futile more often than not. And that’s okay, If he’s making a conscious effort to express himself through his clothing just be understanding.
However, there is hope if he falls into the category of not caring about what he wears one way or another. Your partner may not be aware of your dislike for his sense of style (or lack thereof). If you’re going to talk to your man about changing up his attire, take a less direct approach. Instead of making comments to put down his outfits, try sliding suggestions in here and there. It’s helpful to surprise him with gifts. A shirt one day, a new pair of pants another. People wear certain clothing because they feel comfortable enough to be confident in them. It’s important to offer positive reassurance when your man tries on something new. The more confident he feels in his new attire the more likely he is to seek out similar clothes.
“You could try to be healthier”
With the new year approaching there’s no better time to encourage each other to be healthier. Day to day life can be busy and demanding, with work, school, and family obligations there’s often little time to pay attention to our bodies needs. This can cause friction is a relationship where one person is more attentive to a healthy diet than the other. It often causes arguments at times that are reserved for catching up and sharing positive communicatoin such as meal times.
When talking to your partner about eating healthier, make it a “we task” not a “you task”. This is something you can work on together. If your partner eats out for lunch, offer to pack one for them. Even take it upon yourself to do the grocery shopping to ensure the house is stocked with healthy food. Not only will this reduce arguments, but it will result in positive health changes that will affect other aspects of your relationship. Familydoctor.org says eating healthy meals can help relieve pent up stress and greatly reduce your risk for other health problems. Lastly, creating healthy meals together gives you an opportunity to spend time enjoying each others company.
These things might be hard to tell your man, but telling him how you feel will help your relationship in the long-run. Make sure to address it in the right way, be respectful of their feelings, and talk it out. If you could tell your man anything, what would you say?
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Iona is a Wellness Coach specialising in relationships and dating. She works with single women to write their own love stories.