When you’ve been single for awhile, dating can feel like a chore. If this is something you can relate to you’re probably thinking what’s the point of going on another date that leads nowhere? It’s not that there’s a shortage of good guys, it’s probably that you’re looking for the wrong things in a man. Looking to find a husband?
Regardless of your type, here are the three things you should look for in a potential husband:
He fights for your relationship
Happily ever after doesn’t just happen after you meet the one and make it official. It’s an ongoing job to create a healthy relationship. There will be ups and downs you go through as a couple an someone who doesn’t deal well with conflict or the downs in life may cut and run (because it’s the easy thing to do). You want someone who loves you so much that they’ll fight for your relationship, no matter what. You want someone who has your back through family drama, illness, a bad day at work…etc.
He makes you feel safe
I’m not just talking about physical safety, it’s emotional safety as well. This is created when a guy makes you feel like you can say anything that’s on your mind without being judged. He makes you feel like he won’t change his mind if another prospect comes along. At the core everyone wants to be loved for who they are. A guy who is husband material won’t try to change you.
You like yourself when you’re with him
Some people bring out the best in you and some bring out the worst. A guy you spend the rest of your life with should inspire you to be the best version of yourself. Example: I recently coached a woman (let’s call her Simone) who wanted strategies to help her cope with her dating anxiety. When we explored it a little further, she let me know that she didn’t like the needy person she was in her previous relationships. Having identified her dating patterns we learned that she had a history of dating emotionally unavailable men. As you may have read in my previous article (It’s ok to be needy, here’s why) People aren’t needy. They just have unmet needs. And so we worked out exactly what Simone needed to feel fulfilled and secure. Just like that, her ‘neediness’ was gone.
These aren’t the only things you should look for …
When I speak to singles looking for love the first thing I always ask is: ‘what are you looking for?’. The most common responses are often generic:
I want to find a guy, to be in a relationship.
I want to settle down with someone.
I don’t want to date anymore.
The challenge is that when you go into dating with this mindset, many guys can fit the description. And those guys are often not the guys you need.
The fastest way you can attract love is to figure out exactly what you want. And I’m not just talking about physical and general attributes. Get specific. When you’re in a relationship with this person, how do you want to feel? How does he treat you? How does he treat the people you love? Get really specific.
[I have a freebie coming your way to help you pin point exactly what you’re looking for in a guy. Follow me on Instagram or Facebook to find out @30everafter].
In the meantime, download my freebie and learn the exact things I did to get from single to engaged in 12 months.
Photo by takahiro taguchi on Unsplash
What's Your Reaction?
Iona is a Wellness Coach specialising in relationships and dating. She works with single women to write their own love stories.