When you’re having a relationship or dating issues, it can be confusing to work out who to turn to. There are so many options, you can work with a dating coach, a sex or relationship therapist, psychologist. It’s not as simple as going to the doctor if you’re sick. So what’s the difference between them and what’s best for you?
Love coach vs therapist and psychologist
To sum it up in a few seconds, love coaches typically focus on helping people achieve specific goals. Psychologist and therapist look at treating people with past trauma, illnesses or disorders.
What love and dating coaches do
Love and dating coaches mostly help singles achieve a certain result. Examples of where you’d work with a love and dating coach would be if you needed to build up your confidence in dating, communication skills with the opposite sex or developing a mindset that attracts healthy love. A love coach will help you get clear on the goals you want to achieve and work out the steps you need to take to get you there. This might involve looking at past experiences and recurring patterns or it may be looking at the present to see what tweaks you can make to improve your relationships.
Jess is in her early 30s and she has a pattern of attracting men who aren’t ready for a relationship. What she really wants is to find men who are at the same life stage as she is.
When we worked together, here are the steps we took to help her find them:
- Got clear on what success looks like i.e. starting to go on dates with men who were ready for marriage and children
- Identified what was keeping her from finding them i.e. dating mindset, online dating profile that wasn’t optimized…
- Put together an action plan i.e. mindset work, retaking her profile pictures, changing her dating apps
- Worked on her communication skills so she could confidently let men know exactly what she was looking for (without scaring them away)
- Building an emotional connection with men and not letting the biological clock get in the way
What therapists or psychologists do
Therapists and psychologists typically focus on healing past childhood or adult trauma. They also help people cope with depression, anxiety or any other mental illnesses. If from the example above, Jess goes to see a therapist or psychologist, she’ll likely work on
- Her personal beliefs that are causing the same relationship patterns
- A deep dive into her family history to see how it’s influenced the men she seeks
- Look for unconscious beliefs that prevent them from finding the love they want
In a nutshell, a therapist or psychologist will help you understand your existing issues and help you manage them. A coach helps you create the future you want with actionable steps, holding you accountable to take them.
When should someone see a coach vs a therapist/psychologist?
In some cases, there could be a benefit in seeing both. However, choosing between a love coach vs a therapist/psychologist depends on what results from you want to achieve. If you think you have a mental illness or disorder, as I coach I’d recommend seeing a therapist/psychologist. If you’re looking to see a change or achieve a result in your relationships, a coach may be the better option for you. It also depends on the connection you have with the coach or therapist.
Both love coaches and therapists can help you grow as a person and improve relationships in every area of your life. If you’re interested 1:1 love coaching, sign up for a free call. Prefer to DIY? Check out the School of Love.
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Iona is a Wellness Coach specialising in relationships and dating. She works with single women to write their own love stories.