Recently I posted a vlog about a man drought in Sydney and the numbers were definitely not in a single woman’s favour. Yet despite the imbalance between single women to men, people are still finding their forever guy. So how do you create an abundance of good men despite what stats tell you? This is an excerpt from a new book I’m working on. I’ll be releasing 3 chapters for FREE in the lead up to launch. Sign up to get it!
As a dating and relationship coach, I read many articles with research citing that there’s a man drought in major cities. While there may be an imbalance in numbers, I 100% believe that you can create a ManFest even in places where men may be scarce.
1. If you’re in the US, the divorce rate is sitting at about 50%. This means there is a constant influx of new singles in every age bracket.
2. If the ratio of women to men is about four to one, it may seem like the odds are stacked against you. But think of the number of women who may not be looking for love or unknowingly sabotaging themselves. Not every single woman will actively seek to improve themselves. You already have an advantage.
3. You don’t need to meet an abundance of men. Remember that it only takes one date for your life to change – just ONE. Many singles I meet are obsessed with the number of matches and dates they need to go on in a week. It’s not about quantity, it’s the quality of people you’re meeting. It’s the quality of the conversations you’re having. More on that later.
With this book, I’d like to shift your perceptions about men, dating and love. Let’s begin with this simple exercise. Make a list of all the single men you come across in a day. These could be your co-workers, Facebook friends, friends’ brothers/relatives. Make a list. When you’re going about your day, make note of all the attractive men you come across.
At the end of the day, take a tally. What’s the number?
I know you might be thinking the following:
I’m not attracted to the men on my Friend’s list.
I see men everyday but how do I know they’re single?
I never meet any men.
But I bet this exercise made you pay a little more attention to the men that surround you on a daily basis. If you’re experiencing a man drought, know that simple shifts in your thinking could have you seeing a different reality.
I read that every the brain processes 400 billion bit of information in a second but the conscious mind can only process 50 bits. If you constantly choose to believe there is a shortage of good men, your brain will actively look for evidence to support your belief. It’s called confirmation bias.
So for you to look towards a ManFest rather than a ManDrought, you need to reprogram your mind to look for good men, not turn your back against it while you’re looking for the scarcity of good men. This is what many refer to as ‘inner work’ or mindset for love as I call it. Learn about Mindset for Love here and sign up for the free course.
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Iona is a Wellness Coach specialising in relationships and dating. She works with single women to write their own love stories.