Today we’re talking about whether or not your partner is using you or maybe they’re just a little bit selfish. So here are some telltale signs. Now, not all signs might apply, but if they resonate with you, it could be mean that he or she is using you.
#1 – They ask for favours, but never return them.
So they might ask to borrow your car, borrow money, or even live in your house, rent free. But when you, in return, ask for a ride to the airport, or help putting together an Ikea shelf, for some reason, they’re always busy, so they never return the favour.
#2 – Minimal attention given.
He or she gives you minimal attention, just to keep you around. So when they don’t need anything from you, they won’t actively plan dates, or take you out, or spend quality time. But they might just send you a text to check in here and there, to say I’m thinking of you, just to make sure that you still think that there’s a chance for a deeper relationship with him or her.
#3 – Financial dependence.
He/she depends on you financially, but never lets you in emotionally. So financial dependence could mean, that he or she is asking you to support with rent money, or maybe that when you guys go out, he/she picks really fancy restaurants, but never foots the bill.
But at the same time, they use you financially, but they also never let their guard down. They never let you know how they’re feeling. It’s like you can never really get through to them, because they’ve got these emotional walls up. They just don’t let you in.
#4 – They’re secretive with their social media accounts.
And in this day and age, who doesn’t have social media, right? (Though, I do know a couple people). But if they “don’t have social media”, it could mean that there might be too many things for you to find out and that having a social media account would link all the exes, or “victims” together. Maybe it could mean that they’re not even really sharing their real name with you, or under a different nickname. So that’s a little bit sketchy, if they don’t have social media. Or if they have social media and they’re active, but don’t tag you in things, or don’t show your picture in any of their social accounts. So yeah, it could be either extreme – they don’t have social media; or they have social media, but they keep you a secret.
Speaking of keeping your secret, not only does this person not want to commit, but you seem to be a secret to their friends. You’ve never met any of them. He/she tells you that their friends know you exist, but you’ve actually never met them. If it’s a serious relationship, or any kind of relationship, you wanna let your partner into your life. That includes the close people around you, so if they’re not introducing you to your family or friends, that’s a big red flag.
Again, not all these signs are them using you, it could just mean he/she is selfish. In that case, it really is up to you to communicate how you feel. If you feel like you’re being used or your partner is being selfish, then it’s up to you to say. Because you determine how you want to be treated. You show people how you want to be treated. So if you’re not okay with it, let them have a chat.
So are there any other signs that he or she is using you? Leave them in the comments and let me know. Thanks for watching, bye.
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Iona is a Wellness Coach specialising in relationships and dating. She works with single women to write their own love stories.