Is the guy you’re interested in just shy, or is he not interested? Here are a couple ways to tell. It’s not always easy to tell if a guy is just shy and hasn’t mustered up the courage to ask you out, or he’s just not interested. So I’ve got a couple of clues to help you out.
#1 – Does he try to make an effort to speak to you?
Actions speak louder than words, and I know with shy guys, we can make so many excuses for them, right? Oh maybe he’s just really shy, he’s nervous and he doesn’t want to be the one to make the first move, but at the end of the day, if a guy is really interested in you, they will make some sort of effort.
If you know they’re shy, you can recognize the tiniest steps that they can make. Does he try to contact you? By contact, it could mean phone calls, text messages. It could be a comment on your socials. It could be saying hello, in an elevator or just when you’re passing. Just any effort to contact you. If he makes an effort to contact you, then he may be interested and maybe just shy.
A lot of guys, especially shy guys, they’re afraid of rejection, right? Everybody’s afraid of rejection. So what they’ll do is they’ll create these mini interactions, to see how you react, and every positive enforcement you give them will give him the confidence to take the next move. So you have to learn, especially with shy guys, to interpret their actions as effort.
#2 – Do you catch him looking at you, then looking away?
With shy guys, it’s hard to hold contact with someone. Even if you meet someone in real life and you catch someone you find really attractive, it’s really intimidating to hold that look and let them know you’re interested, because again, everybody’s afraid of rejection. But do you catch them looking at you and then looking away? Because a guy who’s not interested will not do that, unless you have something on your face or you’re wearing something really strange.
#3 – Does he try to contact you at all?
Is he making plans with a group of friends where it involves you, or he’s inviting you to a study session, or, you know, it doesn’t have to be in a date scenario. If he tries to contact you to get you involved with something, that’s a good sign.
#4 – Social Media
I know very few people who aren’t on social media, but chances are even try people on social media. Does he try to like your post? Leave a comment? Any type of engagement means that he’s looking at your profile, he’s looking at your photos. It’s all signs pointing to the direction that he may be interested.
Now, if you’re interested in the shy guy and you want him to make a move (and you don’t want to make a move yourself), meet him halfway. So start a conversation. If you want him to ask you out, maybe ask him what you’re doing on the weekend and suggest that you have nothing planned. Lay it out so it’s really easy for him to ask you out without getting rejected.
So those are my best tips. If you want more, leave me a comment and let me know and good luck with everything.
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Iona is a Wellness Coach specialising in relationships and dating. She works with single women to write their own love stories.