Today we’re talking about how to be charming without even trying. I have taken and rounded up 5 things I’ve noticed about the most charming, charismatic people in my life. So here they are:
#1 – They treat you as if you’re the only person in the room.
So, you know when you meet someone for the first time and you just feel so comfortable and you really like them, pay attention to what they’re doing. They make you feel special. And it’s because, when they’re talking to you, their eyes are directly on you. They’re nodding. They’re listening. They’re not looking around and not looking past you, to see if there’s a better person that they can talk to you. Or they’re not distracted by their surroundings. They’re really, really intent on engaging with you. They treat you like you’re the only person in the room.
#2 – They find common ground.
So, very quickly after you meet them, they find a way to connect with you, to relate with you. Whether it’s a common hobby you share, golf, you know, whether you’re a person who loves a side hustle, they are really good at identifying what you’re into and finding a way to connect with that. Not being fake, but genuinely finding something to connect on.
#3 – They smile.
If you think about the most approachable people, the most approachable people are happy people. I mean, you would never go and walk up to someone for directions if they look really grumpy, right? You would look for someone who is smiling; who has open body language; people who don’t look like they’re in a rush. But the most charismatic and charming people I know, they’re just smiley; very, very smiley.
#4 – They make people feel comfortable.
Let’s just say you’re at a dinner party, you don’t know a lot of people, and this person will come and introduce themselves, take the time to talk to you, but also introduce you to other people in the room. They just make you feel welcome.
#5 – They share. But they don’t overshare.
And what I mean by that is, they will share personal details about themselves. They will let their guard down. And they’re not afraid to be vulnerable. But at the same time, they’re mindful that they don’t overshare information. They don’t dominate your air time. They let you speak. Also they don’t air dirty laundry, and they don’t dump all their emotions on you. They just share enough to have a conversation that’s relevant to the topic.
So it could be someone telling you, oh they really messed up at a meeting and then that charismatic and charming person, telling them that they did something very similar just last week or last month. You know, just letting people know that you’re human as well, and that it’s normal. That’s what charming and charismatic people do.
#5 – They share. But they don’t overshare.
They’re not afraid to be vulnerable, but at the same time, they are so conscious of not being overbearing with what they share. So there’s definitely a difference between someone who is open to sharing their experiences, to someone who overshares, right? Like, you can think about your Facebook feed and you know exactly who the oversharers are, it’s just too much. Like, you don’t need to go to that level of detail. But charming charismatic people will give you enough information to show you that they’re open. They’ve let their guard down and they’re not afraid of being vulnerable.
So, for example, you can tell someone in a networking meeting, how you really messed up a meeting last week and they will tell you, you know, you might say something like “Oh, you wouldn’t believe what I did last week, I did something very, very similar“, and they will tell you how they messed up their meeting or their presentation. So that’s just an example of how people could share with that overshare. It’s again, finding a way to relate to people. And I think if you can find a way to find common ground to relate to people, you will nail every networking event, you will nail every day. These are skills that are transferable across every aspect of your life.
Okay, so if you want more tips like this, leave me a comment below. I’d love to know what you think and if you have any more tips. Thanks again
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Iona is a Wellness Coach specialising in relationships and dating. She works with single women to write their own love stories.