Alright, so the first date can be nerve-wracking, especially now that we’re getting out again (we’re no longer in lockdown). Meeting people face to face can be very, very nerve wracking. So what happens when you lock into a date and you’re afraid you don’t know what to say? You’re afraid of that really awkward silence. So I’m going to give you some ideas to try to eliminate that level of nervousness before first dates, so let’s get into it.
#1 – Your elevator pitch.
Now I know dating isn’t the same as selling yourself, but an elevator pitch gives you a really good summary of who you are. Think of it as just bite sized information about you, and if you have that prepared and somebody says, tell me about yourself (which a lot of people do ask on first dates), then you’ve got that ready, so that no matter how nervous you are at least you have that in your back pocket.
Sometimes, you meet somebody and you find them really intimidating or just super nervous for a date for some reason. But if you have your elevator pitch, you know that you always have that as a go-to. If you want tips on how to create your elevator pitch then leave me a comment and I will do a follow-up video.
#2 – Practice your storytelling.
So I remember, going on a road show for a previous job I had, and I would follow my manager around, and I would admire how she would handle and work a room. We’d meet with clients, and every single conversation, she seemed to kind of own that dialogue. She was very confident in speaking, even though we had to meet a whole bunch of new people and we had to basically get them to like us and to do business with us. And she did this one thing. She had a really interesting story and she told it every time we met someone new.
And if you think about it, if you watch online, late night talk shows, the hosts are interviewing celebrities, they always had this one story. It could be a story about them travelling independently, and getting stuck, a story about how their kids refuse to eat a certain type of fruit. They always have something interesting, so if you have a story to tell, practice having a couple of stories to fill those gaps.
For example, somebody asked what interesting things I’ve learned lately; or tell me something recently that’s happened; or there’s nothing to say and you just want to tell a story – then you’ve got at least a few in your back pocket. So I would come up with at least 2 or 3, just to say that you have them on hand.
#3 – Prepare now.
I don’t know about you, but if I’m running late, or I don’t know where I’m going, or if I don’t have my outfit ready, or I don’t look confident, then I will feel frazzled. The best thing you can do really, is get prepared.
So have a couple of first date shirts that you feel comfortable in that are clean, that are pressed, so you can just grab and go. And just stick with that. Make sure that you Google map where you’re going before your date; how long it’s going to take you to drive there; whether there’s traffic.
Do those things to eliminate your frazzle before the first date. The last thing you want to do is run into a date 10, 15 minutes late, and you’re sweaty and you know you need some time to gather yourself. That’s going to be your first impression of someone else.
#4 – Practice your listening skills.
People who are really likeable, are the ones who really take the time to listen in on a conversation, it’s Q&A, right? They ask a question and they genuinely listen to the answer.
You have no idea how many people just ask a question and then the minute they finish asking, you can tell that their minds are moving to another question, or they’re moving to another thought to have a thought. They’re not really asking, you can answer them, but you can tell by their response, they haven’t heard your answer. So practice your listening skills, that’s massive one.
#5 – Be prepared to share something uncomfortable.
That’s how you build trust, right? If you’re vulnerable with yourself, if you’re vulnerable about sharing things about yourself that not many people know, then you build trust. You make people feel comfortable.
#5 – Be prepared to be vulnerable
The minute you show the side of vulnerability, you make other people more open to doing the same. You make them feel more comfortable, and you just show the real side of you. I think on first dates, everything is so surface. What do you do? What do you do on the weekend? I think it’s actually refreshing when you can share something. It could be your fears; a mistake that you recently made. You don’t have to talk about your failures, but just be open to sharing something and being vulnerable.
So those are my best 5 tips for first dates. It doesn’t be for guys, it’s first date tips for anyone, or if you’re meeting someone for the first time. So let me know what you think and I’ll see you in the next video. Thanks for watching. Bye.
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Iona is a Wellness Coach specialising in relationships and dating. She works with single women to write their own love stories.